Senshuraku Comments (Clancy Kelly reporting)

Today's Henka Alert Level: Salmon

For those of you not living in Nippon, and especially those who have never lived in Nippon, I apologize for the digression, but you know what would be great? If NHK could find an English announcer who had a nice combination of brains, sumo insight, wit, an easy speaking voice and the balls to call a spade a spade. Unfortunately, I live nowhere near Tokyo and Mike is in Utah, so we are stuck with the likes of Hiro Morita (brains and sumo insight only), Dave Shapiro (sumo insight only), Murray Johnson (all but the balls) and that guy with the lisp (who is sort of wimpy in head-to-head with that day's partner announcer but who is the guy I like the most). I understand that Hiro is a second language speaker, and that Murray works for NHK in other capacities so must play it close to the vest, and at least they got rid of Wiggins (thank the stars), but I just can't take the "and, and, and, that being said, very, very riKEEshi at the end of the day" of Shapiro. Yes, he generally knows what he's talking about, but he is just Ebola virus deadly boring as a commentator (and I suspect as a dinner guest as well).

Well then, say ya'll, why don't you listen to the NP side? Well, I have, and they suck, too. But seriously, I want wit, I want honesty, I want analysis and I want background, and in that order. They basically give the latter two only. Really the only one who does it for me is Doreen Mizz Simmons. They should hire her for the full fifteen days, and let her have everyday as a guest some former sumo dude with whom she has had a torrid affair (either platonic or red-hot); there must be hundreds of them. He needn't speak English, either. She could translate what he says, and if it's something too saucy, she could just cover for him.

You have to understand. Like Mike, I was forged in the nuclear furnace that is sports viewing in the U.S. of A. For various reasons obvious enough that we need not go into them here, the U.S. has turned more recreational sports into huge money making endeavors, and for far more years, than any other nation on Earth. Along with this creation of so many world dominating athletes came a market driven, concomitant rise in the level of sports analysis and commentary. As avid players and viewers, Senor Miguel Carlos María Eduardo García de la Cal Fernández Leal Luna Delgado Galván Wesemann and I learned at an early age how to analyze ANY sport once we knew the rules.

We also figured out (with lots of assist from older, purple nurple giving brothers) that to open one's mouth about sports, be it in the living room, the classroom, the pubsnacku, or the workplace, one had better be INTERESTING. NHK doesn't understand this (and prolly doesn't really care all that much about it's foreign viewers anyway, or cares only in so much that they pay the fees when that scary NHK collector comes knocking at the door, the persistent one who refuses to believe you don't understand a single word he is saying to you even though you have lived at that address for four years), so they hire guys like Shapiro, who couldn't clever his way out of a used rice paper condom (real items here, for fellas who want to pull a gag on their lady—"You slipped it on me yourself, Nori-chan, how can you cyooz me?!")

Course, the world didn't get to be as sadsack as it is without a lot of easy-to-please vanilla types running around, so do me a favor: If you disagree, go whack off on one of those forums, but don't contact me. I from Nueva Jyork, know I'm right, and that's all that matters.

Like I said on Day 4, reports of Kisenosato's demise are greatly exaggerated. Today found The Kid intact (and apparently unscarred after surviving his Day 12 hook up with the Ambassador) and ready to bring the thunder vs yusho winner wannabe Kotomitsuki. The soon-to-be Ozeki brought a big tachi-ai to the party, running his hands up into his foe's center belt. But The Kid was ready, keeping his elbows tight to the body and pressing in on the Sekiwake's arms, preventing any belt grip. More importantly, he had an absolutely perfect mix of stance and forward lean, so despite the tachi-ai, Hit was driven back. At the edge he squirreled away, but now Kise brought some mamma jamma slapping to the face and neck which sent Mitsuki into a backpedaling world of hurt. He managed to bend over and stiffen, making one last ditch attempt to grab something, anything, but The Kid smooth as you please slid away and pounded his foe down with two hands to the same shoulder to finish with the same record as the shin-Yokozuna. Game, set, match to Asashoryu, who was now guaranteed at least a playoff, and is there a citizen of the Confederation of Navigable Planetoids who thinks Mitsuki would have won THAT?

So when Asashoryu placed his eager mitts to the clay and prepared to blast off into Hakuho, he prolly figured, Why waste the energy going head to head when I am assured of the championship anyway, and he ever so slightly slid to the left, really just his left leg, but it was enough to get a yerfrickindead grip on Takanohakuho's belt, and the next one second was the most unsurprising this basho. I know there will be all sorts of moaning about the shift, but look at it this way: One, dude is now a Yokozuna, so they are equals and it is no longer Asa taking advantage of the poor lesser rikishi if he shifts a bit, and Two, Hakuho paid for Asa's ticket to the midnight showing of Stan Does San Fran, popcorn included (extra butter) when he won the March playoff for the yusho. Now we're even (and the enormous amount of wampum in those envelopes from companies wanting to be part of the first Yokozuna Only bout in five years didn't hurt, either!)

But do I dig the current trend of sidling, slipping and shifting among the big boys? Hell no, which is why the Director of Sumoland Security, the aforementioned Senor Miguel, has instituted a Henka Alert Level that will be used each and every basho to keep us all informed and aware of the dangers we face as citizens of Sumoland.

With nothing at stake between The Pup and Homasho I expected a straightforward affair, and that's what we got as Homasho gave Chiyo a fair fight (has he ever done anything but?) by standing firm and soaking up the slaps, gradually moving forward with hopes of driving the Ozeki out. Unfortunately, Homasho has never read Chiyotaikai for Dummies, or he would have known to not rush things by extending himself and to keep his legs underneath when he smelled blood. The Pup, having been through this a billion times before, simply shifted into that saucy little pirouette he does so well, and Homer crashed down to the doh!yo. Both men finish at 9-6, albeit via different routes. Springfield's finest was 9-1, true, but he brought the good fight everyday to the top rankers and has nothing to be ashamed of. Puppy, on the other hand, starting from Day 12, got killed by Hit (shit, just realized we may have to make a new nickname for him as Ozeki Kotozakura), roho'd himself on 13, and henka'd a Yokozuna on 14. Can you say ignominious? I know Martin can, innit!

Speaking of M & M, he was dead on about Ama doing the dirty vs KotoNoShow, except he did it AFTER using his hard piping tachi-ai to turn the tallest man in sumo into Mary On Her Way To The Cotillion. Looking like a reverse pile driver, Ama stiff-armed the Bulgarian twice to the neck and chest and when he recovered and lunged forward, fell flat on his ungainly face. If Ama can do this to Kotooshu, do you think the Ozeki has any chance whatsoever of being able to beat Hakuho and Asa oneday to take that yusho he so dearly covets? Simon will leave his house not wearing his tinfoil covered beanie before that happens. The Europeans can dominate the scintillating world of skeleton till the cows come home but it looks like sumo is destined to have only Japanese, American, or Mongolian Yokozuna for some time to come.

We had only one dude in the top half of the draw gunning for his eighth win, and that was SafeSexy at W1. A win would give him a serious shot at a sanyaku slot, so he did what any self-respecting riKEEshi does these days: Henka! But this was no ordinary henka, ladies and Eskimos, no; this was a truly sublime henka, so unforeseen, so replete with guile and deceit that he felt compelled to catch his foe's arm as he went hurtling past to SLOW his forward momentum. Now THAT'S a henka. The fact that it came vs Jokeutoriki, a man voted Most Likely To Henka in junior high school, made it even more delicious, and the fact that it was the W10's second consecutive prison shower was icing, pure and sweet. Hokutoriki must have been the only person in the gymnasium who wasn't at least considering the idea that Sexy might henka. Almost too gullible to be true (sumo, unknowable as the stars!)

It's going to be interesting to see how the Komusubi and Sekiwake ranks shake out come September. Mitsuki is gone, and Ama had a 7-8 at West Sekiwake. Tokitenku had a 7-8 at East Komusubi, and Amishneaky a piece of dogshit 8-7 at West Komusubi (with a gold nugget Yokozuna defeat on Day 1). Sexy had a wormy 8-7 at W1, Kise had a big 11-4 at W6 and Homasho a great 9-6 at E6. Could they possibly go with only one Sekiwake, and have three Komusubi? Or will they leave Ama at WS? Or let Shneaky and Safesexy both go to Sekiwake? Could The Kid shoot all the way up to Sekiwake? I highly doubt that, but I was surprised when they shot The Geeku up to Sekiwake a few basho back from E1 at 9-6. Ought to be interesting.

Tokitenku used the momentum from that huge win over Kaio on Day 13 to fuel himself vs Circus today. Takami got the belt grip he likes, but Tokitenku turned his full weight into PT's boy and used a leg trip I wish I had known how to execute in my high school dating days to get the win. If you get excited over Tenku's sumo this basho, I have a small patch of grass in front of my house. Come over and watch it grow.

Miflobby and Amishneaky slapped each other around for a while, then settled into a stand-off with Shneaky holding a left inside belt and Miyabi his foe's tassles (I don't know why they even have those things on their belts, they are totally ineffective in blocking our view of the wrestlers genital area anyway). As Shneaky tried to lean on the big fella, the former Ozeki (and Led Zeppelin keyboardist) placed his paw on the WK's shoulder and spun him around and down.

Geeku finished off a very disappointing basho by trying to do tsuppari with Takekaze, and the equally disappointing E3 simply pulled the E1 down via a lewd hatakikomi.

It was back to the future with Dejima and Wakanosato. Dejima must have been feeling all the ghostly power from his only yusho 8 years ago in Nagoya (when he henka'd Akebono in a playoff) because today he hit Waka and gave him the bum's rush lickety split. Both guys finish a sad 5-10.

The Noshimas went head to head today, and Toyo-chan showed why he has so much promise as he thoroughly dominated Tama-chan for his seventh win. In the final six days, the diminutive one took out some big fellas, including Fruiteno, Kokkai, Wakanosato and Dejima to nearly recover from the Week One from hell that M4's must go through. This all despite being injured. Dude's got some technique and power.

Kakuryu won 7 out of his last 8 to finish 9-6. The little Mongolian, in just his fifth upper division tourney, decided that this time out he was going to at least try and stick it at tachi-ai, and he did. That he was pushed back by bigger, stronger, or more experienced rikishi matters not. None of his wins (nor losses) came from a tachi-ai henka. It is a simple fact of life that if a small man wants to survive in a sport with no weight classifications, he must learn to use his foe's size against him. That said, to become a top guy, he must also get tough. I can see The Kak's career taking a similar trajectory to Ama's, namely bulking up and learning more belt technique. He probably won't go as high as Sekiwake, but this guy will be a Komusubi oneday, mark my words. Ama, Tenku, Sexy, The Kak—they all have similar styles and strengths, and none of them will ever be as good as Asa or Hakuho. So what? They will all be whooping on pasty white EuROPEians for many years to come, and there ain't nuttin' Martina Matra can do about that except wiggle her little butt in misery as she flaunts it by the frogurt stand every Friday night, hoping to earn enough money to buy herself an air conditioner.

I was impressed with E9 Tochinonada's revival, and he had some quality wins vs the Nikibi and Homasho. Today he beat Kaiho like a man his size should, waiting out the attack and getting inside, then slowly moving him back and out. Despite the loss Kaiho had a great basho, and while I don't care about special prizes, he got shtooped out of one. They gave it to The Nikibi, who also had a good tourney but who wasn't exactly facing a Murderer's Row (and he lost to Joker and Woeshikaze). Guess it was because he was a rookie AND he beat Kaiho head to head, but The Nikibi weighs 51 kilos! more than Kaiho, and Kaiho essentially IS a rookie he's been gone from Makuuchi for so long, and is fighting with something like ten pins in his ankle! If that plus a 10-4 with a Day 14 slaughter of huge Kokkai and a Day 2 destruction of Baruto the Biomass (Baruto never had a chance in that one) doesn't show Fighting Spirit, then nothing does. I like The Pimp, but he lucked out with that prize.

Three old timers who were 7-7 going in got their winning records. Tosanoumi beat The Ambassador via yorikiri, and Tokitsuumi did the same to Hochi Minh Yama, while Tamakasuga knocked off Kasugao, who was going for his own kachikoshi. The geriatric crowd was on fire this basho, wasn't it? We had a 31 year-old become Ozeki, a 33 year-old with 8 wins, one 33 year-old and one 34 year-old win 10, and two guys over 35 getting kachikoshi. Add 31 year-old Chiyotaikai's 9-6 to the mix and you've got yourself a senior volleyball team, with a sub.

Well, it's been a long basho here at Sumotalk. The deaths of two contributors, plus Simon's umpteenth kyujo (gonna be SO kadoban when and if he returns) has placed a strain on the rest of us (as you saw on Day 10). Like Martin said, being number four here at Sumotalk (clean-up hitter, and thus in league with Mays, Mantle, Bonds, Rodriguez, Williams, et al) pushed me to do four days. But did them I did and now the deed is done (huh?) Thanks for hanging in there for another basho and keeping the faith. See you in cyberspace.

Day 14 Comments (Martin Matra reporting)
No doubt the most unexpected and exciting feature of this Nagoya Basho is Kotomitsuki's unlikely streak and Ozeki promotion, and I have to admit that before the tournament I was 100% sure he'd choke and stay at Sekiwake for the rest of his career. Today he was all clutch in a bout with former sanyaku Tochinonada, who produced another great tachi-ai, trying to get his preferred left inside grip. While Nada did manage to get the left hand inside for a few moments, Kotomitsuki quickly backpedaled and cancelled any chances for hidari-yotsu with an intelligent makikae, immediately followed by a pull on the back of his low-standing opponent's head. It didn't work, so Kotomitsuki evaded to the right and avoided getting his head wrapped by Nada's left arm to push him down for his 13th win. Impressive? Far from it, Kotomitsuki completely lost the tachiai, but it was good stuff nonetheless, because he showed good awareness. It's understandable, though, with all the pressure gone. Tochinonada falls to his fifth loss.

Newly promoted Yokozuna Hakuho fell for a henka from Ozeki Chiyotaikai, dubiously similar to the 'inashi' that could be often seen at Tochiazuma's tachi-ai. Although Hakuho didn't lose right away, his momentum and balance were compromised after the move, and he couldn't really get anything working for him. All he could do was take the punishment from Taikai's tsuppari and succumb to the inevitable hatakikomi, when the Ozeki couldn't push him straight out. Ugly stuff, but there was no other way he could have won. Hakuho gets stiffed for the second time in two days and is out of the Yusho race, and he really needs to find a way to survive the cheap maneuver if he wants to be as successful as his fellow countryman. Chiyotaikai gets kachikoshi once more.

Asashoryu charged a fraction of a second earlier with a right harite against M6 Homasho, hoping to get the right uwate, but he was denied with a left inside. He didn't hesitate, though, and locked that arm, going for the throw. Although they named it kotenage, it was more a case of the hatakikomi, but the only thing that matters is Asashoryu getting his 13th win and staying on course for the playoff. Homasho is on a 4-bout losing streak that may very well cost him a special prize.

I love being proven wrong sometimes, don't you? Contrary to my expectations, Aminishiki decided not to henka Kotooshu, but it was probably a last moment decision (and by last moment I mean the second before the actual charge), because his tachi-ai was limper than Hugh Hefner's pecker without Viagra. He must have been studying recordings of Asashoryu's past bouts with the Bulgarian, because he was trying to keep him away from the belt at all costs. He shoulda known better, though, because Kotooshu doesn't really need the belt to beat him, and he soon found that out after getting slapped and pushed around, only to end up yoritaoshi-ed and with the Bulgarian landing on top of him (and while I'm sure some of the ladies wouldn't mind that one bit, Aminishiki's probably going to visit a shrink during the next few weeks).

Mongolian Sekiwake Ama took on overmatched M4 Takamisakari with his usual viciousness, right from the start. Since Takamisakari doesn't henka and his tachi-ai is usually as powerful as Aminishiki's in the previously described bout, Ama used extra boosters to slam into his foe head-first, driving him back a step or two and stinging him with some quick tsuppari to the face and neck. He didn't exactly finish him off, but after Takamisakari moved to his right, away from the tawara, Ama got himself a solid double grip with the right hand inside and smothered his listless opponent. Normally, I'd say it was too little, too late for Ama to keep his Sekiwake rank, but we're facing exceptional circumstances this basho, since there are no real takers for the second Sekiwake slot, except maybe for Asasekiryu, Homasho or Kisenosato. All the more reason for the Mongolian to make me right and do the dirty against Kotooshu tomorrow. Takamisakari is on his way to the junkyard with only three wins so far.

Miyabiyama the fat blob taught Komusubi Tokitenku a valuable lesson in snagging defeat from the brink of victory. Right from the start, the Fatman dished out some heavy thrusts all over Tokitenku's upper body, leaving him desperately trying to fend them off and on the run. Just when you thought it was all over for the Mongolian, he swiftly stepped to the side, letting Miyabiyama fall flat on his face, slapping the dohyo with frustration. Both men have accumulated 8 losses each already, but Tokitenku might just hang on to his rank with a lot of banzuke luck.

M6 Kisenosato drew the ginosho closer to him today with the spectacular, albeit controversial, victory over M1 Asasekiryu. Both rikishi came hard and low at the tachi-ai, focusing on pushing/thrusting attacks. Being pushed back a couple of steps, the lighter Mongolian was the first to switch to yotsu, attempting morozashi, but Kisenosato responded quickly and the two locked for a couple of seconds in the gappuri-hidari-yotsu position. Asasekiryu was again the first to take the initiative, attempting the uwate-nage, but he's either too weak or Kisenosato is too heavy, because the throw failed miserably and left Kisenosato facing Asasekiryu's side. The Mongolian did try to turn things around by wrapping his left leg on his foe's right, from the inside, but Kisenosato ultimately used this to his advantage and finished off Asasekiryu with a spectacular kirikaeshi, very similar to a move performed by Toyonoshima on Kasugao several basho ago and strangely decided upon as sotogake. Anyway, the victory wasn't nearly as clear as Kaio's over Hakuho two days ago, but they still awarded it to the Kid outright. One more win tomorrow for Kisenosato and the technique prize is in the bag, but defeating Mitsuki is going to be a lot more than hard. Asasekiryu still has a shot at returning to sanyaku if he manages to defeat Hokutoriki.

Wakanosato and Kotoshogiku are two of the bigger disappointments this basho, both of them getting makekoshi as early as day 12. The tachi-ai saw both of them vying for an advantageous belt grip, and it was Kotoshogiku who got a left shitate first. A struggle ensued, with the younger rikishi slowly driving the veteran towards the edge, but Wakanosato managed to turn away from danger by pushing with his left under Giku's armpit. Geeku kept pushing forward and eventually got the double grip he wanted, and after that he drove Wakanosato to the straw. For a moment it looked like the match was going to go his way, but the veteran held on by the skin of his teeth, miraculously turning the tables on his younger foe and driving him out to even the scores at 5 wins each. Both rikishi have been looking tired and lacking the desire to win, but I hope next basho will bring them back with renewed vigor.

M2 Dejima is another grey rikishi this basho, showing little interest in actually winning a bout. Toyonoshima withstood his charge and just pulled him down for the easy win. It hardly gets any more boring than this.

Mongolian Ryuo charged rather cautiously against cannonball M3 Takekaze, relying on finesse rather than brute force. A couple of well aimed tsuppari to Kaze's neck made up for the lack of oomph in his tachi-ai and he quickly drove Takekaze all the way to the edge and easily over. Both wrestlers already have double digit losing records so we're quickly moving on.

M13 Yoshikaze's speed and unpredictability have proven to be serious obstacles in the past for Tamanoshima, and he was almost overwhelmed today too, as his smaller opponent was all over him straight from the tachi-ai, taking him all the way to the tawara in some 2 seconds. At the first sign of resistance, though, Yoshikaze shifted gears going for the pull-down, but Tamanoshima must have been expecting it, because he was on his every move. Eventually Peter got a solid right uwate and the left under his foe's armpit to force him out easily. Both stand at 6-8.

Veteran Tosanoumi took on the Prince with his regular strong tachi-ai and growl. Futenoh stopped his charge and uselessly tried to get some grip, but failed to keep his balance and fell victim to a quick pull, falling to his 10th loss. Tosanoumi takes his quest for kachikoshi into the final day. At this rate, Futenoh will soon become King of the Underachievers.

Kakuryu defied me once more, getting his kachikoshi after slyly disposing of old man 'Kasuga. Naturally, the Mongolian couldn't handle the veteran's charge and soon backpedaled, evading to his right. Unfortunately, Tamakasuga's creaky joints aren't what they used to be and he could barely turn in time to face Kakuryu's low charge, so he was easy meat for the push-out. He still has a chance to get 8 tomorrow, against Korean Kasugao. I still don't like Kakuryu, but at least he doesn't henka.

Georgian Kokkai defeated himself again today, coming way too high at the tachi-ai and allowing his opponent, M15 Kaiho, to reach double digit wins on his return from a long stint in Juryo. Kaiho resisted Kokkai's usual elbow push by quickly grabbing the front of his mawashi with the right and trying twice before succeeding with the dashi-nage. Kokkai needs a strong dose of reality if he is to return to winning ways. Kaiho might just snatch a prize for his efforts, after such a long time away from the big guns.

M17 Otsukasa perpetrated a vile but fully deserved henka on Hokutoriki. The win won't save him from demotion to Juryo, though, nor will the loss make it less likely for the Joke to get a prize (he wasn't getting one anyway, despite his 10 wins so far).

Newcomer Toyohibiki bulldozed the giant Kitazakura out of the ring in some three seconds, despite some last minute evasive maneuvers, to get his 10th win and hope for the Fighting Spirit Prize. While his technique isn't overly impressive (he tried to throw Kokkai and ended up throwing himself), his strength is great, and, with the right time taken to improve on the former aspect, he might just make it big-time. Time will tell, but in the mean-time we can enjoy watching him destroy the lesser foes. I know I am. Kitazakura's sumo can be great sometimes, but most of the time it's just plain old piss-poor. However, I like his salt-throwing routine more than Takamisakari's weird self-flagellation.

Tokitsuumi stiffed Kakizoe with a henka. Probably just to fulfill today's quota and keep the Sumotalk henka alert level somewhere in the bright shades of red. Who cares? Kakizoe sure does, as he falls to makekoshi, and dangerously close to Juryo, I might add. Tokitsuumi is 7-7.

As usually, because I'm a lazy bastard (actually, it's because the other guys told me my reports were too long), I'm going to skip some bouts, namely the ones involving Juryo rikishi. What's that? Hakurozan is still in Makuuchi? Not with that kind of crap he ain't. Not for long, anyway.

Now I'm going to take a little time to speculate on the (un)likely outcomes of this here basho, but not for too long, because my flight to the North Pole is due for take-off in less than an hour.

The Yusho: that's a simple one, it goes to Asashoryu. Win or lose tomorrow, Kotomitsuki can't get the much-coveted cup without going through a playoff. Hakuho is less likely to win tomorrow than Hakurozan ever becoming a Yokozuna. He already owes Asa a couple of bouts, and what better time to pay him back than this one? Unless, of course, Asa insists on going head to head with Mitsuki again and loses on purpose should Mitsuki lose against Kisenosato. In any case, there will be yaocho. (Of course, it's absolutely unnecessary to even mention that Asa will own Mitsuki in the very likely event of a playoff)

The curse of Shiranui: this one's a no-brainer too, it's just about as real as Hakurozan's chances of becoming a Yokozuna. Hakuho's bad finish is a combination of stage fright, exhaustion, lack of experience and unfavorable circumstances. After all, it's his first tournament as a Yokozuna, and you can be sure he's been the most sought-after rikishi lately. That can take a heavy toll on anyone. He's still got a little polishing to do on his strategies, especially when dealing with dubious tachi-ai, because he fell for it three times this basho. Then there's all this henka in the air, Chiyotaikai desperately looking for kachikoshi, Mitsuki looking for the Yusho and Kotooshu looking for the left uwate. One word: unfavorable circumstances (ok, so it's two words).

The Sansho: this one's not so easy. The Kantosho will most likely go to Kotomitsuki for overcoming his demons and actually living up to his potential for once (well, I'm pretty sure this isn't the criterion the NSK bigwigs have in mind, but they'll give it to him nonetheless). Toyohibiki will surely get the prize for his strong debut if he wins again tomorrow (and with Henkarozan as his opponent, all he has to do is show up and charge lightly).

The Shukunsho: not too many choices here. Kotomitsuki took Hakuho's scalp and there's no way he can be denied with 13 wins already. There's also Aminishiki, but excuse me if I have my reservations. A solid win tomorrow might make it final, but with only eight he'll most likely miss out. Serves him right.

The Ginosho: this one's a hard one. Personally, I'd give it to Kisenosato if he wins against Kotomitsuki tomorrow, because the kirikaeshi today was great stuff. The MIB might just decide to give it to that lackluster Jokutoriki (probably for superior henka and pulldown skills), in which case I swear I'll give up watching sumo altogether.

Mitsuki's Ozeki promotion: in the bag.

Kotooshu's confidence: this one's a stab in the dark. If he keeps up the crap, I'm personally flying to Japan to slap some sense into him. Or maybe Koto-za-Kura might decide to finally do it himself.

Hakurozan's skinny legs: this one's the clearest. He's still going to henka.

Clancy picks up the pieces tomorrow, by which time I'll be chilling out with Bernie's relatives above the Polar Circle. Be cool everyone!

Day 13 Comments (Mike Wesemann reporting)
It always seems as if day 13 is moving day, the day when the yusho race becomes solidified and the pretenders are sifted from the contenders like chaff from the wheat. And today was no exception as this basho has been whittled down to a two horse race. Let's shift gears a bit today and start with the hottest rikishi in sumo right now, Sekiwake Kotomitsuki, who having fought all of the jo'i will coast home with nothing but mid-Maegashira the rest of the way.

Today Hit was paired up with Homasho and completely took him out of their bout before the action began by stalling at the tachi-ai and drawing Homasho into three false starts. Homasho was obviously rattled because when the two finally did charge Homasho was a half a second late. His hesitance was tangible here, so score one for the mind games from Kotomitsuki. Homie did manage a left uwate straightway, but he had zero momentum allowing Kotomitsuki to raise him upright with a right arm on the inside and a left uwate on the other. Homasho dug in valiantly, but he was had before the bout had even started leaving Kotomitsuki to charge straight forward and smother Homasho out of the dohyo. Kotomitsuki picks up his twelfth win with the victory, a win that seals the Ozeki promotion deal regardless of what happens the final two days.

Kotomitsuki's run has generated so much excitement in Nagoya that the venue has been sold out the last few days, a complete rarity of late for a basho even when they're held in Tokyo. So to that end, Kotomitsuki's run is positive for sumo, but I just haven't been able to catch the wave of excitement so to speak. I want to see straight forward balls to the wall sumo, and Kotomitsuki has been exhibiting just that. The problem is he's been doing it after some shenanigans at the tachi-ai. Slyly slip to the left here...move to the right at tachi-ai there...stall Homasho today into three false starts. Maybe there's an ingredient in the Sadogatake-beya chanko stew that prohibits these guys from trusting in sound, forward sumo WITHOUT the shenanigans. Kotomitsuki's sumo was awesome again today, but it was set up by mind games and shenanigans at the tachi-ai that clearly befuddled his Maegashira opponent. Rikishi who rely on such tactics for their success will be exposed down the road. Regardless, Kotomitsuki controls his own destiny at 12-1 while Homasho may have just played himself out of a special prize at 9-4.

Let's keep things in the Sadogatake-beya and move to the day's penultimate bout that featured Ozeki Kotooshu seeking to run some interference against Yokozuna Hakuho. I'm never surprised to see Kotooshu go for a tachi-ai henka in order to grab the cheap uwate, but he surprised even me today by pulling it off in a critical bout with yusho implications. There's a few things certain when it comes to life in Japan: 1) just walking through the smoking car on the bullet train in Japan will take two years off of your life the "air" is so vile, 2) the term "variety" used to describe television shows really means "unfunny", and 3) no one can recover from a Kotooshu uwate-nage obtained from a sly tachi-ai. Hakuho did his damndest digging in with his right arm on Kotooshu's left side wrenching the Ozeki this way and that, and the Yokozuna even tried a last-ditch attempt with his leg to trip the charging Kotooshu up at the edge, but the outcome of this bout was determined from the tachi-ai henka. Normally, a Kotooshu win at this juncture is a great upset, and the crowd goes wild, but there was only a smattering of zabuton being thrown while Iwasa Announcer from NHK kept referring to Kotooshu's tachi-ai henka in every sentence. It was just anti-climactic stuff, and everyone knew it, but I'm just too worn out to go on a rant at this point.

I can see Kotooshu working here. First, he entered the day on seven wins, so a tachi-ai henka gives him his only hope of capturing an eighth win against Hakuho. Second, he's Kotomitsuki's stablemate and can eliminate one of the yusho contenders for his senpai. Hey, the Sadogatake boys have earned the right to take advantage of their numbers in high places on the banzuke, but I wish they'd just be more straight up when going about their business. And you've heard me say this before, but I'll conclude my remarks for Kotooshu saying it just burns me up when someone screws with the yusho race by using a tachi-ai henka. I don't know how he can get any lower than the crap he's pulled in Nagoya.

As for Hakuho, the NHK reporter manning the hanamichi tracked the Yokozuna down afterwards but couldn't' get Hakuho to say much. When asked about Kotooshu's tachi-ai henka, Hakuho remained tight-lipped and only tilted his head. When asked if he was surprised by Kotooshu's decision at the tachi-ai, Hakuho reportedly just nodded his head in the affirmative. I didn't think Hakuho was the clear favorite for the yusho heading into the day because his sumo has been quite nonchalant and lazy in Nagoya, but no one deserves to be knocked out of the yusho race like this. His silence and frustration is understandable as he falls to 11-2. Just a few more comments before I move on, but where was Hakuho's determination to break Kotomitsuki's left outer grip in his first loss a few days ago? Clancy hinted in his day 11 report that he thought the bout was odd, and I had the same thoughts myself. Today against Kotooshu, the Ozeki enjoyed an insurmountable outer grip, but Hakuho fought like hell to shake it. He was a like a caged animal who has no chance of escaping, but still gives it everything he's got. Against Kotomitsuki, however, Hakuho just stood around for the most part and let Kotomitsuki make him his girlfriend despite a grip that wasn't as lethal as the one Kotooshu secured today. I have no explanation for the reason why Hakuho would let up against Kotomitsuki, but when I compare his effort today with the effort shown against Kotomitsuki after giving up left outer grips in both bouts, I can't help but notice the stark contrast in his reactions.

But let's move on to our final yusho candidate, Asashoryu, who looked to keep his hat in the race against Ozeki Chiyotaikai. Where Hakuho got a freebie yesterday against Kaio, Asashoryu enjoyed one today although through no fault of his own. The Yokozuna was proactive and rearing to go at the starting lines while Chiyotaikai looked a bit hesitant. Still, the Ozeki made a move with both fists towards the dirt, but neither of his hands even came close to touching. Asashoryu reacted to the gesture by charging full throttle ahead, grabbing a quick frontal belt grip, and forcing Chiyotaikai back and out while the Ozeki raised both hands and looked towards the referee for the false start call. Who does Chiyotaikai think he is? Roho? The call never came and Asashoryu was awarded the victory by a referee who knew he blew the call but couldn't take it back. What made matters even more interesting was that Chiyotaikai's stablemaster, Kokonoe-oyakata, was the head judge, and it was his right--and responsibility too--to call a false start because Chiyotaikai's fists did not touch the dirt. But this is Japan, and even though clearly justified in doing so, Kokonoe-oyakata refrained from making the call that would favor his prodigy. The oyakata looked disgusted by the whole thing because on one hand, he wanted to make the correct call, but on the other hand, he couldn't because it would have reeked of favoritism.

My take on the bout is the same as when Roho did the same thing a couple of basho ago only he [Roho] opted to berate the referee in the press afterwards. This is all on Chiyotaikai. He's the one who came half-assed at the tachi-ai, and he's the one who made the unmistakable gesture that he was ready to go. Sure, the referee blew the call, and Kokonoe-oyakata couldn't make the call for political reasons, so the way this is all resolved is Chiyotaikai goes full boar at the tachi-ai (as if the Ozeki had a snowball's chance in hell to win anyway). Chiyotaikai, who is still stuck on win number 7, only cheated himself out of the fair fight today, so we move on. Asashoryu improves to 12-1 with the walkover and is now the favorite to take the yusho.

Absent from today's action was Ozeki Kaio who injured his left foot in his original bout with Hakuho yesterday. With eight wins already in the bag, there was absolutely no reason for the Ozeki to show up for work today so he didn't. Komusubi Tokitenku (5-8) got the too-little-too-late win as a result. Regarding the bout yesterday between Hakuho and Kaio, it was very interesting to see Martin's reaction and even my own reaction at first. Kaio clearly won the first bout against Hakuho, but in real time it was extremely close. The referee gave Hakuho the bendoubt as he was the aggressor--AND the Yokozuna--and pointed the gunbai in Hakuho's favor. The judges correctly called for a mono-ii, and they also gave Hakuho the bendoubt. Why? Because he's a Yokozuna. People who have watched sumo for more than a decade should not be surprised to see rikishi get robbed in close calls against Yokozuna. It used to happen all the time. Lately, though, we've had a dai-Yokozuna who is disliked and therefore never gets a close call, so relative newcomers will be shocked to see a Yokozuna get such preferential treatment. The Yokozuna deserve it. We've seen a lot of firsts for Asashoryu lately, but the one first we've yet to see is Asashoryu given the benefit of the doubt because of his rank.

Moving on to the backpage stuff, Sekiwake Ama grabbed the quick left uwate from the tachi-ai in a fantastic chess match against M5 Miyabiyama, but the Sheriff wisely cuffed Ama's right arm on the other side disallowing an inner belt grip on that side. Ama didn't feel as if he could attack with just one belt grip--even though it was an outer--so he opted for a stalemate in the center of the ring. Miyabi tried to break the 20 second stalemate with a quick pull attempt that didn't work but did separate him a bit from Ama. Ama still maintained that stubborn left grip, but it turned to a frontal belt grip while Miyabiyama tried to use blunt force to push Ama away by the throat, but the Mongolian held on in fine fashion and was able to squirm out of the neck abuse and used his speed to wrangle Miyabiyama over to the tawara and across. Both rikishi fought valiantly in this one as Ama improves to a never satisfying 5-8 while Miyabiyama is holding on at 6-7.

Martin has prophesied that Amisneaky will henka Kotooshu tomorrow, but why stop there? It seems as if Sneaky henkas at least half his opponents. His MO was obvious today against the struggling M4 Takamisakari: use the safe henka to secure the cheap win and a kachi-koshi...and a shukunsho. The henka came to the left where Aminishiki used an inashi move from the side to easily force the off-balance Takamisakari to the tawara where he was easy push out fodder from there. The Komusubi weasles his way to a kachi-koshi that has been hard to root for while the Cop falls to an expected 3-10. Just a side note here regarding Martradomus' prediction. While Aminishiki is not from Hakuho's stable, he is from the same Ichimon. Sneaky's stablemaster, Ajigawa-oyakata, has been tutoring Hakuho in his dohyo-iri and other responsibilities, and Aminishiki serves as Hakuho's swordbearer. There is some sense of team between Hakuho and Aminishiki, so I do see extra incentive to cheap-shot Kotooshu today.

M1 Kotoshogiku stopped M2 Dejima's momentum well at the tachi-ai and secured an insurmountable hidari-yotsu position. The Geeku went right away to the push-with-the-belly gaburi move as he hops into his opponent, and even though Dejima halted the first wave with no problem, Kotoshogiku countered by raising the former Ozeki more upright before using his gut to gaburu Dejima back and out for the nice win. It's little consolation, however, as Kotoshogiku is just 5-8. Dejima is 4-9.

M1 Asasekiryu moved one step closer to the sanyaku with an easy win over M3 Takekaze who looked more concerned with trying to just keep is balance as Sexy attacked him rather than mount an offensive of his own. Early on, Asasekiryu completely whiffed on a tsuppari leaving him vulnerable, but not in any mind to attack, Take-it-easy-kaze couldn't capitalize eventually getting his sorry can slapped to the dirt and a 3-10 record. Sexy is 7-6 and will undoubtedly find a way to grab at least one more win.

In a bout that resembled on of those old-timer baseball games where the action is so slow and the athletes are competing more so as to not get injured, M2 Wakanosato (4-9) managed a weak moro-zashi position from the tachi-ai that M5 Tamanoshima countered with both arms around the outside of Waka's arms, so Wakanosato quickly brought his right arm out to grab the uwate evening things up before launching Tamanoshima to the dirt with his left inside grip. You'd think with make-koshi knocking on the door, Peter (5-8) would have been a little more spirited.

M9 Kokkai hopped right into a M4 Toyonoshima moro-zashi from the tachi-ai, and even though he broke the grip off quickly and attempted to recover with some tsuppari, his momentum was gone and Toyonoshima easily slipped away and pulled down the struggling Georgian to his fourth loss in a row and to a surprising make-koshi from this position on the banzuke. Both dudes are 5-8.

M6 Kisenosato trounced M12 Hakurozan today in a bout that wasn't even close. The Kid executed a perfect tsuppari attack that had Hakurozan stood straight up and pushed back and out in two seconds and two thrusts. Kisenosato moves to 9-4 and hopefully is regaining his Komusubi form. Henkarozan falls to 6-7 and will surely be pulling out all the stops the last few days.

How bad is M7 Futenoh this basho? Nearly as bad as M12 Satoyama. In perhaps the ugliest bout of the basho that didn't involve a henka, these two started off with a delayed tachi-ai out of synch and then digressed to a weak tsuppari fest where Satoyama actually grabbed Futenoh's arm and twirled him around similar to the way I do Clancy when we practice ballroom dancing and he's won the rock-scissors-paper bout to determine who gets to play the part of the gal. Anyway, with his opponent turned 90 degrees after the move and facing the tawara, Satoyama still couldn't finish his opponent off. The ugliest continued as Futenoh (4-9) finally forced the bout in close and yori-kiri'ed Satoyama to a horrendous 2-11 record.

M15 Kaiho has been a rikishi on a bit of a hot streak this basho, so after grabbing the quick left uwate on M8 Kakuryu...on my reporting day...it was money in the bank, right? Nope. Kakuryu showed the difference in rank by felling Kaiho with a right inner belt throw moving to 7-6. Kaiho is a hidari-yotsu guy, so perhaps he wasn't used to fighting with the left on the outside. Don't look now (I know I'm not) but Kakuryu has come back from a 2-5 start to stand at 7-6.

M13 Tosanoumi kept his kachi-koshi hopes alive today by destroying M8 Ryuo with a great tachi-ai and a few thrusts that had the Mongolian giving up halfway to the tawara. Ryuo is either injured, or he has been deflated mentally because he is sickly this basho. He needs at least one more win to keep himself in the Makuuchi division. Tosanoumi is 6-7.

M15 Tamakasuga manhandled M9 Tochinonada today with a feisty tsuppari attack securing a win that I frankly thought he wouldn't get coming in. The reason I even comment on this is to draw a comparison to Homasho's bout yesterday with Tochinonada. If Tamakasuga can solve Tochinonada, Homasho's gotta learn that too before he can become a serious sanyaku player. The savvy veteran, Tamakasuga, moves to 7-6 with the win while the 9-4 Nada has a date with Kotomitsuki tomorrow. If Nada can get the left inside position, we'll really find out how good Kotomitsuki is.

M17 Otsukasa looked to send M10 Kasugao to a make-koshi after gaining morozashi, but the fact that he couldn't pull it out falling to a Kasugao kote-nage illustrates why Otsukasa (5-8) will fight from Juryo in September. Kasugao is barely alive at 6-7.

And finally, could M10 Hokutoriki be touted as Kotomitsuki's senshuraku opponent? At 10-3 after slapping down M11 Kitazakura (6-7) today he very well could find himself in the spoiler role although I'm with Clancy. I think the Association should pair Kotomitsuki with either Kotooshu or Kotoshogiku.

To wrap up, our leaderboard looks like this heading into the final two days:

12-1: Asashoryu, Kotomitsuki
11-2: Hakuho

Kotomitsuki's schedule down the stretch is laughable, so you gotta figure the Sekiwake will be 14-1. With Kaio's withdrawal, Homasho now makes a huge jump to fight Asashoryu on day 14, so you figure the Yokozuna will be 13-1 heading into the final day, and Hakuho should take care of Chiyotaikai to remain at two losses. If Kotomitsuki wins out--thus knocking Hakuho out of the yusho race--you gotta figure that Hakuho will let up on senshuraku against Asashoryu forcing a playoff between Kotomitsuki and Asashoryu. Regardless of the outcome, Kotomitsuki has ensured that this basho will be the best of the year so far.

Martin deals tomorrow.

Day 12 Comments (Martin Matra reporting)
Day 12 of the Nagoya Basho is upon us and for the first time in a very long time we actually have a serious 3-way yusho race at hand, and with two Yokozuna on the banzuke to make it even more interesting.  Currently, my sources for the day's bouts are the NSK Live Stream (the quality of which is one notch below abysmal, but hey, at least it's live) and some higher definition clips available later in the day. After seeing the stream, the outcome of the bout between newly promoted Yokozuna Hakuho and veteran Ozeki Kaio seemed clear enough, Kaio looked like he'd won it. After watching the clip, however, I can tell you this: Kaio was ROBBED, with capital R-O-B-B-E-D. The old man was cautious in his tachi-ai, as usual, going for the mawashi with his right, but Hakuho disallowed it and kept him at bay with tsuppari to the neck and chest and driving him back a couple of steps. Immediately after, he evaded to his left and almost got Kaio with the move, but the savvy veteran didn't go down that easily and soon came back for more. Hakuho promptly went at it again, this time driving Kaio back convincingly, and at the edge he planted his right under Kaio's armpit, moving in for the final push over the edge. However, it was Kaio's turn to evade, and he did it brilliantly, with a perfectly timed, textbook tsukiotoshi. And this is where a certain Kimura Shonosuke decided to point the gunbai the wrong way, for his own inscrutable purposes. A mono-ii was promptly and justifiably called for, hell, even the spectators started throwing purple pillows on the dohyo. At that point I said "whew, there is justice after all", but after hearing "torinaoshi", I knew Kaio wasn't supposed to win in the first place. Regrettably, I don't understand a lot of the Japanese language so I have no idea what the official justification for the decision was, but I can tell you one thing: if the "dead in the air" rule was invoked, Hakuho was "dead on the ground" long before Kaio lifted his left leg from the clay.

So why did what happened happen? First scenario: Kotomitsuki is getting some serious help to snag the yusho from Asa, and to do this the MIB are keeping Hakuho in the yusho race, to give him enough motivation to win the Asa showdown on senshuraku, since he is a much more accessible opponent for Mitsuki in the event of a playoff. I know, it sounds utterly ridiculous (but not entirely unlikely, at least not for a conspiracy crackpot like me), so I do have a plan B explanation, for you normal readers: the MIB are a bunch of worthless blockheads. Hmm... come to think of it, that DOES seem more likely. Anyway, Hakuho stays at one loss and in the Yusho race, while Kaio can be happy he's already got the 8. Hmm, I can't quite shake the feeling I'm forgetting something... ah, yes, the rematch. Absolutely not worth talking about, Kaio was struggling just to drag his tired old body across the dohyo. I just hope Kaio's fans can forget about this majestic grease-job soon enough, although I think Hakurozan will become a Yokozuna before that happens.

The other Yokozuna (still sounds strange to mention Asashoryu as 'the other', doesn't it?) didn't have nearly as hard a time as Hakuho, because, unlike last time, he made damn sure Kotooshu went nowhere near his mawashi, by ever so slightly stepping to his left, barring the Bulgarian's long arms until he was able to plant his left hand deep under his shoulder, while keeping the opponent's deadly left at bay. Kotooshu quickly ran out of ideas and meekly stood there until Asashoryu decided the whole cat'n'mouse deal had gone on long enough and slapped the poorly balanced opponent down to his 5th defeat. It's exactly how Asashoryu beat Kotooshu several times in the past (the only difference being the kimarite), and it's exactly what he's supposed to do against him, because Kotooshu will defeat him in a head-on yotsu duel, and his strong legs allow him to resist being pushed out easily. Did I like it? Hell no, but I do appreciate Asashoryu keeping his cool and playing it out using his brain instead of his anger. Kotooshu continues to be the underachiever of the tournament, with only 7 wins so far and three rough opponents to come (Hakuho and the Ajigawa boys, according to my calculations).

While we're on the topics of henka and Kotooshu's fighting schedule, I'd like to point out another theory, this time regarding the (currently) #4 of Sumotalk, Clancy 'Fancy' Kelly. The first thing that strikes you when reading his report is the henka alert level for day 11. BLUE? Come on, with the likes of Henkarozan, Jokutoriki, Asasekiryu and Tokitenku pulling outright and outrageous henkas, you'd expect the esteemed Mr. Kelly to jump through the roof. Secondly, what the hell is all the "Kotomitsuki has Geeku and Kotooshu left to fight" rubbish? Since when? And thirdly, Clancy and bad grammar?? After piling on Bernie and Mike for the same thing in their reports? Clancy would rather commit seppuku than write a word wrongly. There can be only one explanation for this: it wasn't the real Clancy Kelly writing, but a spirit possessing him. And who do we loyal readers know to be dead, to have written for Sumotalk, to have liked the henka and to slip funny English in his comments? EXACTLY! Bernie McManus!

This is what I think happened: right after Bernie's tragic and violent death, his spirit didn't leave for Hel... uh... Heaven right away, instead waiting for the conclusion of that basho. In doing so, he got to read Clancy's blunt report revealing the shameful circumstances of his death, and was bound to exact revenge on the perpetrator in order to be able to leave this existential plane. So he decided to pay our Clancy a little visit, just so he could make it up to him for all the times he called his family 'eskimos' and 'igloo-dwellers'. The day 11 report is rock-solid evidence that he succeeded. R.I.P. Bernie, may your tortured soul find eternal rest.

In the next bout, Japan's greatest hero of the moment completely owned Ozeki Chiyotaikai, right from the tachi-ai, slamming hard into him, driving him a step back and exposing the lack of power in his tsuppari. After that, he insisted on showing him the proper way to do it, blowing him all the way to the ropes and off balance in the process, with one single, well-aimed thrust to the neck. It's safe to say Chiyotaikai would have fallen to his face on his own, but just to be on the safe side, Kotomitsuki did grab his belt to drag him down. After all, uwatedashinage does sound a lot better than tsukite or koshikudake. 11-1 is a stellar record for the future Ozeki, beyond every fan's wildest dreams, I might add. Taikai ain't out of the woods yet, with Kaio and the two Yokozuna left on the menu, and he can thank his lucky stars for the bonus against Kotooshu.

Sekiwake Ama and M2 Dejima were the protagonists of a strange tachi-ai. Ama was clearly fidgeting before the charge, and that will prompt anyone to suspect foul play, especially against Dejima. Unusually enough, it prompted Dejima himself to suspect it, so, deciding to fight fire with fire, he charged to the left, probably hoping Ama would go the same way. He didn't, and Ama's speed allowed him to turn to his compromised opponent and easily push him out for his fourth win. Dejima falls to makekoshi.

Aminisneaky was probably practicing for his match with Kotooshu, because he shafted Geeku with a heinous, premeditated henka. I just hope he loses his next three bouts, so he doesn't get the shukunsho and the sekiwake rank so desperately in need of contenders. Neext!

Asasekiryu and Komusubi Tokitenku met in an all-Mongolian, all tsuki/oshi and one sided affair. Not-so-sexy tried to get an early left uwate, but when Tokitenku pushed him away, he said 'to hell with it' and just pushed his foe out in a matter of seconds. It was decent stuff to watch, but it hardly makes up for the henka against Dejima yesterday. Asasekiryu is an even 6-6, while Tenku can kiss sanyaku goodbye.

It's bloody painful to watch Wakanosato struggle against the real competition after such a long time away from it, and he owes it all to Ama, who rushed his intai by some 1-2 years or so with that komatasukui all those basho ago. While he's an admirable rikishi for the ratio between his fighting spirit and size, I'm starting to dislike Ama for his tachi-ai shenanigans of late (and he'll probably do his best to make me hate him even more in about 2-3 days). But let me get back to the actual bout. Wakanosato came way too high at the tachi-ai, probably hoping for a quick and cheap pulldown, but Toyonoshima was too fast and managed to get both arms inside for a split second. Waka kept his wits about him and went for a makikae with his left, escaping the deadly morozashi, and forcing a brief stalemate in the center of the dohyo. Toyonoshima pushed forward and, although failing to finish his opponent off with the attempted leg trip, won eventually by yorikiri, getting his fourth win. There is no end to the horror for Wakanosato, as he falls to nine losses.

Class clown Takamisakari made short work of lackluster M3 Takekaze, getting a quick uwate right from the initial charge and immediately using it to drag his opponent to the clay. Both rikishi are looking at a serious drop down the banzuke ladder, with 9 losses apiece.

M9 Kokkai showed once more he's worthless at the belt against the skilled yotsu fighters. The tachiai seemed to favor the Georgian, but he could only take hostilities to the tawara, where Tamanoshima got a nice left inside. A long pause followed, long enough for me to discover in the Online Archives of Canada that Bernie did actually have an Eskimo great-great-great-grandfather, after which Kokkai tried to end it all, but fell victim to the tsukiotoshi Tamanoshima was able to set up using the aforementioned grip. The bout leaves both men in need of straight wins to avoid going down the banzuke.

The Fatman met Korean M10 Kasugao and left him without any answers to his lumbering thrusting attack. Kasugao uselessly tried to fend off the heavy tsuppari and went back all the way, without there ever being any hope for neither a shadow of a belt grip nor a pull-down. The solid win evens Miyabiyama's record to 6-6, while his opponent falls to a dangerous seven losses.

Kitazakura, the world champion salt thrower, went with furious tsuppari against Kisenosato, so furious, in fact, that if I didn't know better I could've sworn Kisenosato was teaching Zak's wife some forbidden kimarite. It didn't exactly have the desired effect on the Kid, though, as he managed to get a nice paw to the back of Zak's head and drag him for some 10 feet across the dohyo, until he crashed out in a heap of outspoken frustration. Kisenosato gets kachikoshi while Zak will most likely get a divorce.

The other Japanese hero, M6 Homasho, was on the receiving end of one of those tachi-ai that can leave anyone (and by anyone I mean anyone including the Blue Demon himself) without reply. Nada smashed into his foe and made more of an impact, even though it looked like Homasho charged a coupla milliseconds earlier. After stopping for a moment, Nada got his left on the inside and blasted Homasho upright with an upward yank under the shoulder. Yorikiri was a formality after that and Tochinonada looked damn good finishing it off and putting a big wrench in Homie's sansho hopes. Nine wins for both men.

Futenoh's been spiraling towards Juryo for a while now, but this particular basho he's been looking horrendous. After uselessly struggling for a belt grip and taking the punishment from veteran Tamakasuga, he got lucky when the latter failed the pull-down attempt and capitalized, getting a solid grip on the back of his mawashi and driving him out to earn his 3rd win. The old man is at an even 6-6.

Kakizoe and Ryuo battled it out in a careless but spectacular tsuppari-fest. After both rikishi exchanged slaps, Kakizoe proved more focused in the end and drove his rounder opponent out by tsukidashi. It would be a daunting task to actually describe the bout, but I do suggest watching it. Kakizoe keeps kachikoshi hopes alive while Ryuo sinks even lower at 3-9.

Another similar bout took place between another pair of rather small rikishi, M8 Kakuryu and M12 Satoyama. Kakuryu definitely thought he could take Satoyama out easily and going forward, because he seemed to surge forward like a blood-lusting bullet. Uh... for about a second anyway, because right afterwards he retreated and, you guessed it, went for the pull-down. The effort was so half-assed that Satoyama didn't even need to regain his balance and chased Clancy's acolyte all over the dohyo, but we all know what a slippery little pain-in-the-ass Kakuryu can be. Eventually, he realised he wasn't going to win by retreating so he finally attacked with some tsuppari, cautiously at first and gradually increasing the intensity after seeing Satoyama strangely worn out by the previous effort. Satoyama ended up all beaten up and with no pride left, and begins packing his bags for the lower division, while Kakuryu recovered nicely from his ugly 2-5 start. On the bright side, Kakuryu will probably get his ass handed to him tomorrow at the hands of Kaiho. On the other hand, the simple fact that he's able to survive this high up with such shitty sumo is a clear sign that there is no real game around this neighborhood of the banzuke. Whip yourselves into shape, boys.

In the next bout another newcomer was burned by another 'master' of evasion with another lousy maneuver. After the tachiai, Hokutoriki realized he didn't have a chance to win it straight, so he just backed away and jumped at the edge, managing to pull Hibiki down by the skin of his teeth. Kaio's victory was way clearer than this crap, but guess what, they awarded it to the Joke, much to my disappointment. No matter, Toyohibiki is young and will get even eventually, but Hokutoriki will probably retire before that even has a chance of happening.

The surprising Kaiho made his Makuuchi return memorable by scoring kachikoshi as early as day 11. Facing the resurgent Tokitsuumi, Kaiho stepped to his left to get the front of the mawashi with his left hand and yanked his foe off balance. For a moment my pulse went up in anticipation of seeing the extra-rare izori throw, but it wasn't to be, as Kaiho couldn't quite duck under his compromised foe and had to finish him off with a solid shitatenage. Nine wins for the returnee ain't half bad. Tokitsuumi is even at six wins to six losses, but things are sure looking better now than they were the last time I was reporting.

Henkarozan produced a particularly weak and upright tachi-ai, relinquishing morozashi to his determined foe, M17 Otsukasa, who forced him out in about three seconds or so. Hardly worth the effort I took to type about it.

Yoshikaze used the H-word against Tosanoumi and he didn't win right away, but who really cares?

Kyokutenho dismantled out-of-place Hochiyama and he's promising to be back with a vengeance where he truly belongs.

I'd really love to stay a little longer and speculate on the likely and no so likely twists in this basho's grand scheme, but, as some of you might already know, Romania has recently been hit by a monstrous heat wave, therefore I'm going to find myself a nice little refrigerator to spend the night in. Mike takes the bad luck out of day 13 (and if you don't believe me about that, just click here to look at some of the nasty things that can happen).

Day 11 Comments (Clancy Kelly reporting)

Today's Henka Alert Level: Blue

The Nipponese have a saying that goes "shyoganai" and it is usually translated "It can't be helped". I prefer "Whaddyagonnado?" but perhaps the most succinct (and certainly the most visceral) is, "Shit happens". So if you're looking for the Day 10 report from Sumotalk, well, there's your answer. It's the first time since Sumotalk became truly sublime (or, in other words, since I became a contributor) that we have missed a day. We apologize and will obviously be revoking the minibar privileges of the guy who dropped the ball.

And that's a shame, because Day 10 did have some exciting moments, such as Kaiho moving to within one win of his kachikoshi with a sweet win over Tamakasuga, Tochinonada kicking the wildly unlikable Henkarozan's ass, Takamisakari driving out Kaio!, and of course the biggie, Koto Hit or Mitsuki tossing Hakuho out like he was pitching cricket.

It's this last bout that I would like to briefly comment on. Go back and watch it. Freeze frame just after the two men meet. Hakuho's left hand is nearly on top of Hit's belt, and yet he refrained from grabbing it. Let me make this clear: It was there for the taking, and would have sensibly countered the grip Hit already (and quickly, deeply, unlikely) had on Hakuho's left side, and yet he did not even attempt to snatch it. Sumo: As unknowable as the stars.

Day 11, though, is where we found ourselves today, and in the clutches of his nemesis Asashoryu, aka Genghis, the Khan of Khans, is where Kotomitsuki found himself. Having lost twenty-six straight to the Yokozuna, you'd have to be nuttier than a chipmunk picnic to think the Sekiwake was going to continue his winning ways, and we know, dear reader, that you are not.

But as is the case lately, Mitsuki gave it as good a shot as the basho before as he somehow was allowed to live after tachi-ai when Asa had an inside left belt and an outside right belt. Normally given this advantage the Khan would shake his foe like a bull terrier at a rump roast, but perhaps feeling patience is a virtue, the Yokozuna slowed things down and let Mitsuki get his own two handed belt grip, setting up one of those classic sumo matches that has two giants with great grips leaning on each other chest to chest, shoulder to shoulder, looking like they are taking a breather when they are, in fact, applying enormous amounts of different types of strength in hopes that the other will make the slightest miscue and open himself up to a throw.

Sadly for Mitsuki, it doesn't take a miscue to lose to Asashoryu, just takes stepping into the ring. After a few seconds wait, Asa made one of those throws that is so strong and so quick it takes your breath away. It won't do to call Asa's uwatenage merely "textbook". Plato's Forms come to mind.

Nonetheless, we will be seeing a new Ozeki come September, as there is no question Hit will beat Chiyo tomorrow. That will put him at 11-1, with only Homasho, Kotooshu and the Geeku left to fight. He may lose to Homasho, but no way he can lose to Kotooshu and the Geeku. I mean, he practices against them all the time! Point is, after Chiyo, he ain't got much compared to what he had the first ten days, maybe the Kid or Dejima or the Sheriff. I like the odds of him getting one win out of those three, and the kyoukai could give him a big break and pair him up with some guys doing relatively well lower down, maybe Hokutoriki or Tochinonada?

Doesn't it seem that right around Day 11 every basho the action starts getting weird? Desperation in the air, perhaps?

Ama inadvertently collapsed trying to get the same belt grip Kotomitsuki got on Day 10 vs Hakuho, because unfortunately Hakuho was not under orders to lie down like a dog this time and spun nicely, causing his countryman to inadvertently collapse via a koshikudake, or inadvertent collapse. There was no way Ama's fall was advertent, so I must agree with the call of inadvertency. Ama goes to eight losses and will fight now to catch his fall from going lower than Komusubi.

Circus did the honorable (and stupid) thing post tachi-ai and let the Wolf's Pup Chiyotaikai pummel him on the face and neck without shifting to the side and grabbing at his belt. Takami did, however, have the sense to circle away once he was at the ropes, but then he let the Ozeki do the exact same thing one more time and this time P.T.'s boy got run out to his ninth loss.

In the Hard To Believe These Two Are Irrelevant Bout, after three or four or five misfires, Kotooshu did NOT henka Miflobby, who DID try a slapdown and who WAS subsequently (why isn't the word "subsequentially"?) slapped down HIMSELF and...ah, screw it, I'm just using upper case to make you think something exciting happened. It didn't.

E6 Homasho came at Ozeki Kaio like an Ozeki meaning to confirm the pecking order, but Kaio backed up and evaded like an E6 hoping to get the upset win. Kaio, love seeing your name on all those all-time lists, but seriously, about your career? Wake me when it's over. Homasho was nicely aggressive but left his legs behind him to suffer his second defeat.

The Geeku played teddy bear to Tokitenku's six year-old boy and was quickly dropped behind the couch for his disappointing seventh loss. I was thinking with Asa still to come that he could say Auf Wiedersehen to any chance of reaching Komusubi for September, but it looks like the powers that be spared him a date with Genghis, so maybe he can win out like he did in March (to finish 7-8) and get his kachikoshi this time.

I dislike Aminishiki so I am not going to comment on his win over Toyonoshima today.

I sincerely hope that AsaSexy is also AsaSafeSexy, because with the way he greeted Dejima at tachi-ai today the former Ozeki had better hope condoms are a part of Sexy's game plan. Jumping up and out of harm's way the Mongolian W1 managed to throw the Degyptian off enough to cause him to lunge and fall after initially righting himself. No bedroom poster sumo here.

For the third time in the last four days, Tochinonada defied my expectations and beat a superior rikishi, this time Tamanoshima via yorikiri. At 8-3, the former sanyaku mainstay got himself some second half action today and faces Homasho tomorrow. Should be a good test to see if this semi-revival is for real.

It appears that Herr Wesemann had a shot on goal about one thing: The Kak likes to win on the days I report. But he hit the post on Day 6 when he wrote that he smelled a five day losing streak coming on. Instead, Kakuryu took care of the Sheriff, Tochiozan and today brought down Tosanoumi. As has been the case all basho (only the Kak's FIFTH in Makuuchi), there was nothing evasive about his sumo today. He took the full brunt of Tosa's tachi-ai and then sensibly maneuvered to let the big man's weight do him some damage, which it did by carrying him forward and down. To read some of my esteemed comrades you'd think that there is something ignoble about this kind of sumo. Balderdash, say I! Tosanoumi outweighs the Kak by 22 kilos (and Tochiozan outweighs him by 14 and Miyabi by something like 396). Naturally in sumo the bigger man will be able to drive the smaller man back at tachi-ai. The big guy is utilizing the advantage nature gave him, namely his bulk, so why shouldn't the smaller guy use that same advantage, his foe's bulk, once he has given his foe an honest tachi-ai?�@It's simply ludicrous to imagine small fellas regularly grabbing, let's say, morozashi and driving people out yorikiri. Even the great Kakizoe is able to do that only occasionally. One may have a preference for big man sumo, that's fine, but don't be dissing little guys who stick at tachi-ai and then do what they must to win. The experience Kakuryu is acquiring this time out by taking all the "behweemoths" full on should translate into the kind of quality sumo I expect of this man in the future.

(Note: Grammarcheckers blow.)

Onward! The Nikibi exploded on the Korean nage specialist Kasugao to reach his eighth win in his first top flight tourney (though he would have had it one day earlier but for that ridiculous loss to Yoshikaze on Day 3). Seems those scant three basho he spent in Juryo, along with this rookie effort, form a telling sign that this lad will be showing up every two months at the makuuchi company picnics and nailing ringers on the horseshoes pole.

Sitting through the endless false starts and pre-tachi-ai shenanigans of the Jokeutoriki vs Kakizoe bout (The Jokester's fault, imo) I felt like I was thirteen again, sitting in the War Memorial Auditorium suffering through the Michael Schenker Group and Whitesnake in order to hear the sublime Ian Anderson lead Jethro Tull. Unfortunately the payoff for this bout was nothing like listening to Cross-Eyed Mary as Hokutoriki pulled a vertical henka and slapped Kakizoe down to his 7th loss. The Jokester has eight wins of you need 'em.

Finally, my main man Kaiho slapped Satoyama around like a dad his teen son who borrowed the car without permission. A triumphant return to Makuuchi for the veteran, Squeezing out his kachikoshi on Day 11! Kaiho is Up The Junction at 8-3 while Satoyama is Slaughtered, Gutted and Heartbroken at 2-9.

Well, Day 12 brings us all (and we do mean ALL) the action with that kooky Yer ROPE Ian, that Transylvanian titan, Matra Martin (whose name can be rearranged to spell, I'm an Art Mart). We received a bunch of emails about Martin's Day 7 report, and sensitive as we are to the needs of our many of our busy readers (not including the Sumotalk Forum guys, who have no life whatsoever), we will be publishing Martin's Day 12 report in six easy to read installments starting tomorrow and finishing sometime in August 2008. I'll be back on Day 15 to snip away the frayed bits and loose ends of your sumo mind.

Day 9 Comments (Mike Wesemann reporting)

Today's Henka Alert Level: Red

Nagoya is turning out to be a pretty solid tournament in that both Yokozuna are vying for the yusho as expected, but we also have a Sekiwake who is a worthy candidate (to be in the race...not to actually take the thing) and a Maegashira rikishi who's also worthy to have his name on the leaderboard as we begin week two. Having said that, however, I'm getting quite disturbed by the amount of shenanigans we've been seeing from the tachi-ai. You may initially think that tachi-ai henka are down this basho, but just because a rikishi opts to go for his opponent's belt instead of just slapping him down after moving to the right or left at the initial charge, a henka's a cheap maneuver that gives one rikishi an unfair advantage over the other. You can bet that we'll be talking about the move a lot today.

Hell, let's get to the henka talk right away starting with Asashoryu. Asashoryu has been going through a lot of firsts lately, but I never thought I'd see the day when he'd give Miyabiyama a tachi-ai henka for the first time. He did exactly that today moving quickly to his left, but the problem was Miyabiyama read the move and offered a right stiff arm into Asa's throat that took him out of his element. Had Miyabiyama's lower body actually been of the intention to move forward from the charge (instead of just standing his ground), he would have been able to finish the Yokozuna off. Nevertheless, he gave Asa all he could handle and then some. With Asashoryu having compromised his lower body with the henka, a tsuppari-fest ensued where Asashoryu was forced to rely on his speed and quick evasive tactics to survive Miyabiyama's thrusts. Miyabiyama was forced to the edge twice, but he survived because Asashoryu didn't equal sound sumo today. After about 8 seconds into the brawl, Miyabiyama grasped a firm right outer grip forcing the bout to yotsu-zumo. Asa briefly tried to counter with a right outer of his own, but when he didn't get it, he used his left arm on the inside to lift Miyabiyama upright as he pushed at the Sheriff's neck with the right hand moving Miyabiyama back to the straw. From here, Miyabi's belt was now open on the right side, and Asashoryu sealed the deal by grabbing it and forcing Miyabiyama across the straw for the win, but this was a telling bout.

First, why would Asashoryu need a tachi-ai henka to beat M5 Miyabiyama? The answer lies in the same instance as with Kotooshu...why would Kotooshu--an obviously superior rikishi--need to resort to a henka to beat Wakanosato? It's a problem with his confidence plain and simple. Even if the henka wasn't premeditated and Asashoryu decided on the move the instant before he charged, that now exposes a heretofore unseen lack of mental toughness where Asashoryu has allowed thoughts to enter his mind other than how he was going to attack and dismantle is foe. Regardless of the Yokozuna's thought process, you cannot take away anything positive from this bout today. The physical abilities including speed, lightening fast adjustments, and a vast array of technique are still there, but the mental edge Asashoryu enjoyed over everyone until the last few basho is deteriorating. Asashoryu is rattled, and he knows it. In this state, I don't see how he can beat Hakuho on senshuraku. He does move to 8-1 with the win, but Asashoryu is still clearly in his funk. Miyabiyama fought the good fight today but falls to 4-5.

Yokozuna Hakuho repented of his bad tachi-ai yesterday and made damn sure he got an arm deep on the inside of M1 Kotoshogiku today. Hakuho used a quick hari-te with his left arm before giving up the uwate on that side in exchange for getting his left arm deep into his opponent's right side. While keeping Kotoshogiku at bay by pushing with the right hand, he lifted the Geeku nearly off his feet with that left arm pushing up under the Geeku's right armpit that broke off Kotoshogiku's uwate and also broke down his balance when came back down. At this point, Kotoshogiku's lower body was too unstable and Hakuho simply crushed him down via hataki-komi to cruise to 9-0.

Hakuho reminds me so much of Takanohana this basho. Takanohana was never flashy, and he'd frequently give up what you'd think was the disadvantageous grip or position (uwate today...morozashi yesterday against Toyonoshima), but he'd always finish off his opponents with power and stability. Hakuho has also adopted the somewhat passive tachi-ai that Takanohana used where his focus was to dig in first and then ensure he had at least an arm on the inside from which to mount his attack. It doesn't look like overpowering sumo, but it just doesn't leave the Yokozuna's opponent any window to attack. Kotoshogiku falls to 4-5 but should hold his head high after a great first nine days. Komusubi in September is likely.

Moving to the Ozeki ranks, I can't help but conclude that Kaio was returning the favor today against Kotooshu for what happened yesterday at the hands of his stablemate Kotomitsuki. It was my opinion that Kotomitsuki henka'd Kaio yesterday masking it by grabbing the uwate instead of going for the outright pulldown, so when Kaio faced Mitsuki's stablemate, Kotooshu, today? Kaio executed the exact same tachi-ai moving to his left, grabbing Kotooshu around the right arm, and slinging him clear into the second row with a tottari (armbar) throw. Cheap? Yes. Justified? I think so. It's just like in baseball when you throw intentionally at the other team's batter. They're gonna pay you back by throwing at one of your good hitters, and Kaio did just that today against Kotooshu. Kotooshu didn't get jobbed. It simple was payback. Usually when Kaio does a henka, he has this disgusted look on his face as he looks to the rafters, but today he was completely resolved after the bout as he should have been. Kaio moves to 7-2 thank you very much while Kotooshu who already henka'd himself out of this basho earlier falls to 5-4.

Sekiwake Ama's misery continues against Ozeki Chiyotaikai. As usual, Chiyotaikai kept Ama at bay by shoving at his face and neck while Ama tried desperately to duck under the thrusts and grab the Ozeki's belt. After about 6 seconds and one previous pull attempt, Chiyotaikai timed an Ama lunge for his belt perfectly catching the Mongolian by the back of the head and yanking him down to the dirt. There's just nothing more to break down. "Aisho ga warui" is the term for Ama, which means he just doesn't matchup with Chiyotaikai. At 3-6 with some tough opponents yet to come, Ama should just be concerned about hanging on to a Komusubi rank for September. Chiyotaikai moves over .500 at 5-4 but has no room for error.

It's been really hard to gauge Sekiwake Kotomitsuki's condition this basho. He had yet to face an opponent with a winning record until day 8, and when he finally faced Kaio, he used a tachi-ai henka to set up the easy win. This Ozeki run resembles that of Kotooshu nearly two years ago. Oshu really didn't have any competition the first 10 days or so, and he mixed in just enough sly tachi-ai to ensure double digits. But what really sealed the deal for Kotooshu was his win over Asashoryu. I don't think Kotomitsuki will beat either Yokozuna in Nagoya (he has Hakuho tomorrow), but I think he's established himself as the third best rikishi in the sport. When numbers one and two are both Yokozuna, it's only fitting that number three would be an Ozeki. Kenji reminisced yesterday about two blue collar rikishi in Tosanoumi and Tamakasuga, so I'll reminisce today about the guys who were Ozeki when I began watching sumo full time: Takanohana, Musashimaru, Wakanohana, and Takanonami. That's a badass group right there where three of them went on to become Yokozuna. Takanohana became Yokozuna right away, but every basho you had an Ozeki or two in the yusho race posting 12 wins or so. Everytime. What I'm trying to say is that I think Kotomitsuki probably deserves the rank regardless of what happens this basho, but he's a far cry from the dudes who defined the Ozeki rank for me.

The Sekiwake moved to his right today at the tachi-ai in order to grab the cheap uwate against M4 Toyonoshima. He got it, and Toyonoshima could do nothing about it resulting in another easy win for Hit as he forced Toyonoshima back and out with little trouble using that right outer grip. This is the second bout in a row where Kotomitsuki has moved to either side at the tachi-ai. Yeah, it gives him the cheap belt grip, but it leaves him vulnerable to an opponent who's looking for it. Let's see what happens tomorrow against Yokozuna Hakuho. The way Hakuho is defending and the way Kotomitsuki has been weasling around these last few days, the Sekiwake hasn't exactly set himself up mentally for tomorrow's bout. Nonetheless, he's perfect at 9-0 while Toyonoshima falls to 2-7.

In a strange tachi-ai, M2 Dejima had both fists to the dirt early, which he usually does while Komusubi Tokitenku took his sweet time putting that final fist down. When he actually put both fists down, Dejima didn't charge, rather, he seemed to be waiting for Tokitenku to move first. Tokitenku moved a half second after both fists were to the dirt, and then Dejima charged in a strange opening to the bout. Regardless, Tokitenku had one thing on his mind, and it worked as he moved to his left (wasn't a henka) and pulled Dejima down to the dirt with relative ease. This was sloppy, ugly stuff all the way around from both parties. Where's Dejima's effort? He's gotta read Tokitenku's fist and hope to gain the advantage from the tachi-ai. Isn't that the reason why he and Kakizoe put their fists down first anyway? He didn't do it today, and he paid falling to 3-6. Tenku shares the same record.

Gone like a fart in the breeze this basho is M3 Takekaze's determination to mount a forward, offensive attack. Today he seemed content to just keep his hands on Komusubi Aminishiki in an attempt to keep him at bay, so Ami took the initiative by grabbing a left outer grip and forcing Takekaze back a few steps before dumping him to the clay. Takekaze tried to counter by clutching Aminishiki's right arm as if he could somehow drag his opponent down to the dirt with it, but Aminishiki just shook him off like a few flakes of dandruff for the uneventful win. Aminishiki breathes new life at 4-5 with that brutal week one behind him. Takekaze suffers a deserved make-koshi at 2-8. Hey, I was in this dude's corner big time coming in, but he's abandoned that fiery attack of his that got him here in the first place.

In a wild affair, M4 Asasekiryu was hellbent on keeping M4 Takamisakari away from his belt by using a left stiff arm to push at the Cop's throat, but the tide turned quickly when Sexy went for a stupid pulldown and gave Takamisakari the momentum and a left outer grip. Takamisakari quickly forced Asasekiryu to the edge, but the Mongolian countered by wrapping his right leg in and around Takamisakari's left from the inside. That move works about as effectively as a pitcher in baseball faking a throw over to third base and then quickly looking over to the runner on first to pick him off, but I'll be damned if it didn't work today. Actually, it worked because Asasekiryu used the position to execute a kake-nage throw instead of just trying to halt his opponent's momentum. Sexy managed to lift Takamisakari up and trip him over with that leg for the nifty win. The bout was extremely close and from the replays I thought Asasekiryu's right knee hit the dohyo before Takamisakari fell, but the men in black didn't budge. Asasekiryu moves to 4-5 with the win while the Robocop makes his make-koshi official at 1-8.

M2 Wakanosato beat M6 Homasho last basho with a hataki-komi, and I think those thoughts were on his mind as well today because from the tachi-ai, Wakanosato's hands were floating up near Homasho's head and shoulder area. Problem was Homasho took the initiative from the start and had Wakanosato pushed to the side and out in about two seconds before Wakanosato could even fancy a pull attempt. Homasho looks great as he picks up his kachi-koshi and represents the Maegashira ranks on the leaderboard. He's as worthy to be there as Kotomitsuki, and let's hope he's paired with him sometime before this party's through. I think Homey (8-1) will beat him. Wakanosato falls to 2-7.

M8 Ryuo's sumo consists of a four-step program: 1) moro-te tachi, 2) drive opponent back, 3) shift gears and pull opponent forward, 4) push off balance opponent down or out. Ideally, Ryuo will win after step 2, but if he doesn't win by step four, he won't win. The Mongolian ended his five day losing streak today over a listless M5 Tamanoshima. Ryuo completed step 1 by executing his moro-te tachi-ai, he executed step 2 by driving Tamanoshima back, he managed step 3 by shifting gears successfully and pulling Tamanoshima forward and off balance, and he concluded step 4 by managing to slap the hapless Tamanoshima to the dirt for the win. What was Tamanoshima thinking during this bout? He let Ryuo do exactly what everyone knew what was coming. Had Ryuo really been on fire this bout, it would have been an oshi-dashi win at step 2. Whose complaining though? A 2-6 guy coming in has to take any win he can get. Tamanoshima falls to 4-5.

M10 Kasugao has about as much business going for a keta-guri as KC and the Sunshine Band has of making a comeback, but that's exactly what he attempted today against M6 Kisenosato. Of course he wasn't able to pull it off completely whiffing on the kick move, but to set up the keta-guri, you've gotta henka to one side. Kasugao went to his left and pulled down on Kisenosato with both hands enough to knock him to the dirt in half a second, so while the keta-guri didn't work, the bloody tachi-ai henka did. Kasugao moves to 4-5 while Kisenosato suffers a tough loss falling to 6-3.

M7 Tochiohzan dominated M8 Kakuryu throughout their bout today beginning with a deep left arm on the inside of his Mongolian opponent. Kakuryu countered with a right uwate grip but had no intentions of doing anything other than counter sumo. Tochiohzan forced Kakuryu back to the tawara before attempting a scoop throw with the left arm, but he couldn't finish Kakuryu off. He next drove the Kak back to the other side of the dohyo with enough force that Kakuryu was forced to abandon his outer grip leaving him a sitting duck there at the tawara, but much to my chagrin Tochiohzan went Musoyama and completely whiffed on the final shove out attempt causing him to crumble to the dirt while Kakuryu tight-roped the tawara. Both rikishi are 4-5.

Two yotsu-zumo specialists in M7 Futenoh and M9 Tochinonada hooked up today in hidari-yotsu from the tachi-ai, a position that both rikishi favor. Futenoh one-upped Nada with a right outer grip, but Tochinonada trumped that with his size. After about a 20 second stalemate in the center of the ring, Futenoh attempted a charge against his opponent, but Tochinonada countered perfectly by planting his right foot and swinging Futenoh completely around with his left inner grip to where Futenoh stepped just beyond the straw. Tochinonada improves to 6-3 with the solid win while Futenoh looks lethargic at 2-7.

M16 Kakizoe enjoyed a quick start against M9 Kokkai by moving quickly to his right after the tachi-ai and applying an inashi move, but Kokkai pivoted to his left extremely well squaring himself back up with his opponent where he offered a right paw to Kakizoe's face and a left paw right into his upper torso sending Kakizoe sprawling onto his back and across the tawara. Kokkai showed great power and footwork as he improves to 5-4. Kakizoe is 4-5.

M10 Hokutoriki made extremely short work of M13 Yoshikaze by hitting him with both hands at the neck area and then shifting both hands to the back of Yoshikaze's dome before he was even fully out of his stance. Of course Hokutoriki (6-3) yanked down sending his opponent to the dirt in a bout that lasted a full second. Yoshikaze falls to 4-5.

M12 Hakurozan came with a quick hari-te from the left followed by a quick left outer grip on M11 Tokitsuumi's belt, but in the process, Hakurozan failed to knock Tokitsuumi back at all, and his body was too upright. This allowed Tokitsuumi to grab an outer grip with his left as well and more importantly, Tokitsuumi was able to hunker down lower than his opponent resulting in his quick force-out attempt that had Hakurozan pushed back and out in 8 seconds or so. Hakurozan's sumo is just fundamentally poor right now as he falls to 5-4 while Tokitsuumi breathes new life at 4-5.

M16 Hochiyama showed his best effort of the basho and in a bout where he could have easily folded to the pressure as the crowd was obviously behind his opponent, M11 Kitazakura. Hochiyama proactively led with his right shoulder into Kitazakura's torso as he grabbed the left uwate while Kitazakura responded by grabbing his own left belt grip, but it was obvious who was forcing the pace of bout because Hochiyama confidently forced Kitazakura back and out in less than five seconds for the solid win. Hochiyama looked to have a slight grin on his face as he collected his kensho, gave the power water to the next rikishi, and then headed back down the hanamichi. I wonder if the dude had an epiphany of sorts on what he needs to do to succeed. Regardless, he looked great today, and the potential is there. Good win as Hochiyama moves to just 3-6. Kitazakura falls to 5-4.

M14 Toyohibiki seems to have lost his confidence these last few days right before our eyes. The Makuuchi rookie is an oshi guy all the way, but he has refrained from his oshi attack the last three days. Today against M12 Satoyama, he got away with it due to his opponent's small stature, but he's gotta re-image himself and remember the kind of sumo that got him here. To Satoyama's credit he managed an early left grip on the front of Toyohibiki's belt at the tachi-ai that forced the bout to the belt, and he also attempted an inner belt throw that nearly had Toyohibiki finished off early, but the larger rikishi survived and responded by wrapping both of his arms around the outside of Satoyama's limbs. This did give Satoyama morozashi, but he was pinned inside too much and Toyohibiki was able force him back and out via kime-dashi...fitting with Takanonami in the booth commenting for NHK today.

Toyohibiki sorta reminds me of the two Hawaiians Musashimaru and Akebono. No, I don't see him ever being as dominant as those two, but the two Hawaiians were first things first oshi-zumo guys. When they couldn't finish off their opponents with the pushing attack, they were quite adept when it came to fighting at the belt, and they used their size wisely when forced to fight in close. Toyohibiki has attempted to fight at the belt this basho (most notably against Kokkai), and even though he's obviously not a polished rikishi at yotsu-zumo, the potential is there as a plan B for every bout when his thrusting attack doesn't work. Guys like Chiyotaikai or Hokutoriki are strictly oshi guys and fight at the belt as well as I walk in high heels. Wait a minute, can't believe I let that slip. Er...uh...they fight at the belt as well as I...uh...speak Mongolian. That's it. (Whew, that was close). The point is Toyohibiki should always come out with the oshi attack and then settle for the yotsu-zumo contest when necessary. The last few days, however, he hasn't trusted his bread and butter, which would normally shred the competition this low in the ranks. The youngster improves to 6-3 while Satoyama is hapless at 2-7.

M15 Kaiho struck quickly and moved to his right against M13 Tosanoumi at the tachi-ai, but Tosanoumi was on the move and knocked Kaiho back near the tawara where he lowered his head and went for the kill. He wasn't quite fast enough, however, and Kaiho moved to his right again as Tosanoumi went for that final push and ended up lurching into mid-air and and his fifth loss to boot. Kaiho improves to a nifty 6-3.

And finally, veteran M15 Tamakasuga manhandled M17 Otsukasa back and out with a stiff left paw in Otsukasa's neck from the tachi-ai that he never withdrew until Otsukasa (4-5) had crossed the tawara. Twas easy as Tamakasuga moves to 5-4.

So, our leaderboard after nine days is as follows:

9-0: Hakuho, Kotomitsuki
8-1: Asashoryu, Homasho
7-2: Kaio

With Hakuho and Kotomitsuki fighting on day 10, we'll not only have our sole leader this basho, but we'll be able to tell just how well Kotomitsuki is fighting. Kenji will break it all down.

Day 8 Comments (Kenji Heilman reporting)
I have a feeling this one is going to turn out to be a dandy. The two stories of the basho continue to win, the menacing Yokozuna everyone loves to hate is hanging around, and a popular up-and-comer is quietly putting together a spectacular bid.

Let's start with one of the two main characters in shin-Yokozuna Hakuho. Displaying poise and presence through the first week, at first glance you wouldn't know Hakuho was a new Yokozuna. Today he showed that poise but it came after a crucial mistake at the tachiai against M4 Toyonoshima. Hakuho decided to "receive" Toyo's charge and almost paid for it. The Yokozuna got stood up and driven back quickly, but that's when the poise kicked in; Haku managed to eventually stand his ground at ring's edge and work his way back on the offensive, eventually winning by hatakikomi. Later, he said he wanted to "watch and see" what Toyo did at the tachiai, but then "I was surprised to be pushed back to the brink of defeat". This experience speaks for the importance of being aggressive at the tachiai. Not too many rikishi could have recovered as Hakuho did today. He remains undefeated at 8-0 while Toyonoshima drops to 2-5.

After a build-up for the ages with M4 Takamisakari that included stare downs and the crowd chanting in unison at every pre-bout, pych-me-up thrust, Asashoryu pulled the ole tsuriotoshi (lift opponent up and throw him down) that he has become somewhat famous for. He usually makes a point with this move during keiko mainly, but in occasions like this it is effective in showing everyone who is boss. Sho goes to 7-1 while Sakari drops to 1-7.

In a bout of underachieving Ozeki, Chiyotaikai and Kotooshu locked up with a good tachiai. After that it got really odd. As Chiyo sidestepped Oshu, the Bulgarian tried mightily to keep his feet in the ring, while Chiyotaikai was losing his balance- all the way across the other side. It was a mono-ii that was difficult to call because the two rikishi were nowhere near each other. But it looks like the right call was made- Oshu's left heel appeared to touch outside first before Chiyo fell on his hands. Chiyo improves to 4-4 while Oshu drops to 5-3.

The other main character, hometown hero Kotomitsuki, met Kaio. The grizzled Ozeki was looking for a road win to stay on pace in the Yusho race. After a matta, Mitsuki showed a strong tachiai and immediate maneuver to the right, then a quick mae-mawashi and left outside grip. With no break, he pressed the pace and ousted Kaio via yori-taoshi. Kaio, not exactly known for his lightening quick reflexes, was simply kept off balance and couldn't keep up. He drops to 6-2 while Mitsuki charges on, becoming the first rikishi to achieve kachikoshi at 8-0.

The up-and-comer I mentioned is M6 Homasho, who continued his good work in defeating another promising young rikishi, M1 Kotoshogiku. Geeku got the upper hand with an aggressive initial charge, but alas he attempted the ill-advised pull down which open the gate for a momentum change. Homasho wasted no time in turning the tides and charged back quickly for a yori-taoshi win, improving to 7-1. Geeku is even at 4-4.

If I may be nostalgic for a second before I close. The M15 vs. M13 bout between Tamakasuga and Tosanoumi may not have meant much to most, but I remember seeing these two clash live from the second row at the 1996 Kyushu basho, and the reason I remember it was because it was the most brutally beautiful tachiai clash I've ever seen. It epitomized the power of sumo. It was when these two vets were up-and-comers themselves. Honestly, I can't remember who one that bout 11 years ago, but seeing these two warriors collide again in 2007 brought back that memory. Hats off to these two for their staying power- Tama at 61 basho in Makuuchi and Tosa at 71 basho and counting. They will always be remembered by me for their blue collar approach and for wreaking havoc in the joi early in their careers.

Day 7 Comments (Martin Matra reporting)
It's the seventh day of the tournament and that means yours truly is on duty, as usual. Plenty to look forward to in terms of excitement, especially Hakuho's recent promotion and winning streak (23 bouts so far), Kotomitsuki's smoking hot Ozeki run and Asashoryu's chase of that illusory Yusho. There's also Toyobikini the newcomer, who looks big and hungry and 'ozeki' Kotooshu trying to exorcise his demons (and not succeeding so far).

Now, we all know I'm Sumotalk's biggest conspiracy theorist, so, of course, I'm not going to proceed to the action until I have at some of that stuff: whatever happened to the yaocho scandals? Silence, that's what. What does that tell you? Simple: someone screwed up and now everyone who's anyone in the association is doing some serious sweeping under the rug. Did anyone hear anything about any trial? Not to mention verdicts and damages. If the NSK are so damn innocent, why don't they come out and shout in the open? It's not like they have no use for good publicity. I'm by no means an insider to Ozumo, but I'm not retarded either, and I can bet any amount of money that things are far from squeaky clean right now. Actually, that's more of a certainty than Kotooshu perpetrating at least a henka every basho.

But enough beating around the bush (Simon's compadres have like the kewlest expressions, innit?), let's put some actual sumo into it for a change. As usually, I'm going to start with the best man in the division. Who just happens to be different from the one we got used to during the last few years. Western Yokozuna Hakuho met bothersome Komusubi Aminishiki and it looked like the Mongolian took off a couple of milliseconds earlier. This time, instead of going for the front of the mawashi, he opted for a left harite. It worked like a charm and before Aminishiki knew what hit him, there was this big, hungry and nasty Yokozuna wrapped around his right arm. Curtains? Not just yet, because Aminishiki isn't the one to just give up, but after Hakuho took him on a tour of the premises, all he had left to think about was damage control, hence the spectacular somersault off the dohyo and onto his ass. Looking at the kimarite list of Hakuho's last 22 wins (out of the same number of bouts), I couldn't help noticing that as many as five of them are armlock/bar techniques. It's a good policy for a guy who's aiming to kick ass in each and every one of his bouts, because the last thing on the victim's mind is winning, when he finds himself with the previously mentioned big, hungry and nasty Yokozuna wrapped around his arm. Hakuho has yet to face a real challenge this basho, while Aminishiki still has some work to do if he wants the shukunsho, with 3-4 after the deadly week one.

The other grand champion faced fellow Mongolian Tokitenku, and he went for morozashi after feigning a harite with the tips of his fingers. Tokitenku didn't fall for it, but he relinquished a solid right uwate, which Asashoryu used to drive him back to the edge, but not before a short break in the center of the ring. That speaks volumes (thanks again, Simon, and God Save the Queen, we mean it, man!) about Asashoryu's confidence right now. Tokitenku dug in hard and stayed in, after which he counterattacked, and survived the mandatory throw attempt from the Yokozuna, with the left inside grip he had acquired earlier. A stalemate ensued, but by that time Tokitenku had run out of ideas, and the Yokozuna eventually forced him out. It was a hard earned win, but then again Tokitenku isn't a pushover at all. Asashoryu still has some good years ahead of him, but I think it's safe to say he just passed his peak. Of course, with the current competition and all, he's still the main yusho threat, but things aren't going to be so easy from now on. Tomorrow, Asashoryu faces a great challenge, against an opponent tougher than Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime. Yeah, right! Takamisakari should consider himself lucky if he gets away with a nice yorikiri in the front row.

Veteran Kaio is looking good on paper so far, but that's mainly due to inferior opponents. Dejima's unusually weak tachiai hardly even budged him, and he reacted well after taking a swipe at the belt with his right, by slapping down the frustrated former Ozeki, who took a moment to stare at the dohyo, probably remembering he hadn't taken his vitamins in the morning. However, with 3 wins already and out of the woods, he still has a good shot at kachikoshi. Kaio, who can be grateful for his 6-1 record, has hard times ahead of him, starting tomorrow, against the red-hot Kotomitsuki.

Winless Takekaze shafted soon-to-be kadoban Ozeki Chiyotaikai with a big, fat, juicy, well executed, morally reprehensible and clearly premeditated henka to the left. If Chiyotaikai should get a 7-8 makekoshi, you can be sure he'll erase Kaze from his Christmas list. But since we couldn't care less, let's move on to the next bout, shall we?

Ozeki Kotooshu, my favorite hunk of meat--uh...erm...rikishi, slammed hard into his Mongolian opponent, M1 Asasekiryu, and, to nobody's surprise, took him a full step back. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that the Bulgarian has huge leg strength, but why he hesitates to use it is a mystery. I, of course, have my own theory. He's probably afraid of making an ass out of himself by getting sidestepped and losing, but...what the hell? Deal with it! Instead of striking fear into his opponents with powerful and spectacular nage, set up by grips following a sound tachi-ai, he seems content with 9-10 wins, easy money and getting booed at least once or twice each tournament. Afraid of getting henka'd? How about using Asashoryu's recipe? Go extra hard at keiko on the guys who do it, so they'll know better the next time. Still getting sidestepped? How about keeping your eyes ON THE OPPONENT, instead of meekly gawking at the dohyo dirt, huh?

To me, as a fan, everything matters, but to the regular sumo watcher, Kotooshu's tragedy isn't much more relevant than some English guy by the name of Rupert Brooks getting gang-raped by a crew of drunken Russian sailors in a dark alley in Shanghai (i.e. it sounds ugly, but they couldn't care less). After all, you see wasted talent and potential everyday.

The pattern is unusually and painfully obvious this basho, with Kotooshu's record being 5-2, with 5 sound, forward-moving wins, and two shameful losses following two lowly and poorly executed henkas. Kotooshu's probably an atheist, because the sumo gods are clearly sending a message here: "Thou shalt not henka!"

Oh yeah, the bout. Asasekiryu tried everything to keep the Bulgarian away from his mawashi, but he was no match for those long arms. Kotooshu got hidari-yotsu and it was game over for the Mongolian, who can consider himself lucky for being spared the usual yoritaoshi or uwate-nage. I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed this, but Kotooshu seems to be favoring the right uwate lately. His three uwatenage so far in Nagoya were all right-handed, and today's bout only supports this theory. If I remember correctly, he even threw Asashoryu with the right last basho (I'm too lazy to actually look it up, but I'm pretty sure). It seems to be working fine so far, and if he's equally proficient with both grips, all the better. Of course, Kotooshu made damn sure he's out of the yusho race by pulling the stupid henkas against the old guys, talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Asasekiryu is getting his ass handed to him, but that'll usually happen to anyone in the M1 spot during the first week.

One last thing and I promise I'll move on. I'm prepared to give anyone 100:1 odds that Kotooshu is going to get stiffed with a henka this basho. I'm also giving an additional 50:1 that at least one of the Ajigawa boys (Ama and Aminishiki) will perpetrate the reprehensible deed. Mark my words.

Kotomitsuki, who has yet to miss this tournament, was looking a bit nervous today, but he did everything to calm himself and produced a monster tachi-ai, after which he planted his right under the clown's armpit, denying him any sort of left-handed grip, while he went with his own left for the front of his foe's mawashi. He didn't get it, but in the process he managed to push Takamisakari out. After the deed was done, Kotomitsuki lost his footing and almost fell on his ass, but he recovered in time, much to my disappointment.

The next few days will tell if Kotomitsuki is still the choker everyone thinks he is. With that out of the way and with the recent reduced keiko policy (you didn't really think it was about an injury, did you?), 12 wins don't look so unlikely anymore, and they'll award the promotion with 11, too, should Mitsuki manage to defeat at least one Yokozuna in the process. What can I say? It's never black and white, is it? If some five months ago you'd have asked anyone, and I mean anyone, including Mitsuki himself, if he could ever make it to Ozeki, the answer would have gone something like 'gettaf**kouttahere'.

Oh, yeah, at 1-6 Takamisakari needs a vacation into the cool shade of mid-low maegashira, because he doesn't seem to be able to take the heat this high up. Still a lot of fun to watch, though, those routines of his.

The other Sekiwake, Mongolian Ama, took on Wakanosato like a wolverine, taking full advantage of the veteran's weak tachi-ai and setting up a solid right inside grip. It was that vicious grip that saved him from the eventual pull-down attempt, allowing Ama a deep morozashi he then used to force his foe out with little resistance. Wakanosato doesn't seem to be able to handle the beef of the upper ranks, his only win so far coming from Kotooshu's inept henka. Ama is in for a roughing during week two, because he still has to face the big sharks, and his 3-4 record so far says he's going down.

As a little side note, the fact that the henka is not outlawed should make it an object of study, so to speak, in the heyas. First of all, the rikishi should be formally taught not to employ it, then, if their opponents are doing it, how to handle it, and, lastly, if they should ever...uhm...'accidentally' do it, they should be taught how to do it properly. This doesn't mean I'm for the henka, but every aspect of the sport should be carefully taken into consideration. Do you think it's a coincidence that SOME rikishi resist the henka more often than others? I'm almost sure some of them practice henka-proofing techniques at least, because, although conservative, the Japanese aren't stupid, and a henka can make the difference between kachikoshi and makekoshi, and ultimately it's winning that counts. Before those of you who have come in close contact with the Japanese civilization even think about jumping at my throat, please, give me a break. Looking out for numero uno isn't something we gaijin invented, you know. They have been doing it since the dawn of time, and sometimes going past what some of us whiteys see as the limit of the absurd (see kamikaze and their dubious similarity to the Arab suicide bombers). Do you still think things like honor and dignity are more important than winning when cold, hard cash is involved? If so, please join the 21st century. Thank you.

Next up, top maegashira Kotoshogiku took on former sekiwake Tamanoshima, who's been fading into anonymity lately. Kotoshogiku won the tachi-ai, securing a left inside and denying his opponent any sort of grip. Some serious maneuvering for position followed, including one failed makikae from Kotoshogiku. Tamanoshima tried getting his own left inside, but with his foe keeping his hips low, all he could do was lodge his left under Koto's armpit, effectively disallowing morozashi. Eventually, it was Geeku's frantic gaburi-yori that did the job, with Tamanoshima unable to offer any resistance. Kotoshogiku's record so far isn't impressive, because, for some reason, he's been excused from all the hard hitters. With Chiyotaikai and the two Yokozuna left to fight, kachikoshi might be a problem. Tamanoshima is still big, but that doesn't seem to help anymore.

It looks like we naysayers were right once more. Sorry to have to say this, Clancy, but your acolyte Kakuryu is deceptively weak for a Mongolian. Still, one can only admire the almost complete lack of henka in his sumo (do you hear that, you big Eastern European wussies?). Today's match-up against M4 Toyonoshima was completely one-sided, with Kakuryu's head almost taken off by his foe's spirited charge. Of course, after getting a nice right uwate, Kakuryu tried the thing he knows best, attacking by retreating. Well, you guessed it, it didn't work and he was easily forced out by Toyonoshima, who didn't even need a belt grip to do it. I don't even enjoy seeing Kakuryu get his ass handed to him anymore when I look at the despicable henkas perpetrated by the likes of Roho, Kotooshu and Hakurozan. Get a grip, boys, but on the mawashi, not the back of the head, eh? And put some oomph into that tachi-ai.

Speaking of uneven match-ups, can you guess the likely outcome of a bout between the Fatman and Ryuo? I'll tell you: nine times out of ten Miyabiyama wins, with the kimarite more or less evenly distributed between tsukitaoshi, tsukidashi and oshitaoshi, with the accidental loss coming from poor footing via hatakikomi or tsukiotoshi. Today confirms my inductive reasoning, with the bigger, stronger and more experienced rikishi dismantling his opponent. Ryuo almost evaded at the edge (it seems most Mongolians are very proficient in this area), but Miyabiyama would have none of that this time. I'd love to see this more often from the fat guy, but his mother's death and the recent injury seem to have taken a heavy toll on him. He'll recover, but he may never be the same again. Ryuo's already been analyzed by Mike, so I won't bother.

Japanese hope Homasho and Korean Kasugao bonked heads at the tachiai and Homasho was forced back a step, but he quickly recovered and bulldozed his opponent out of the ring convincingly. Kasugao did try to make it interesting by hooking Homie's left leg from the inside and attempting his patented kotenage, but he had no real support from the other leg and there was little more he could do than land in the front row, narrowly missing the ringside Ryuo. 2-5 from M10 for the Korean is nothing to be proud about. Homasho is a shiny 6-1 and looks bound for sanyaku and some prizes. It's still a bit early to speculate, though.

Kisenosato, at an unusually low M6, recorded his fourth win in as many days, against M11 Tokitsuumi. The tachiai seemed to favor the heavier man, but it was Tokitsuumi who got a solid right uwate, denying the Kid a right outside grip of his own. After a brief stalemate in the center of the dohyo, Tokitsuumi went for the nage, but size wasn't exactly on his side this time, and Kisenosato's left sashi didn't help either (it's safe to say that most of the big boys in sanyaku and above would have made short work of Kisenosato given that grip, and I especially mean Asa, Kaio, Hakuho and Kotooshu). After hopping around on one leg for a few seconds, Kisenosato finally pushed his smaller foe out of the dohyo. A nice, round 5-2 for Kisenosato, while Tokitsuumi seems determined to take a little Juryo vacation.

Henkarozan did his 'vintage' sumo again, violently yanking down the unsuspecting Tochiohzan after a moro-te tachi-ai. He's young and he still has a lot to learn, but falling for this crap against the likes of the Ro brothers is almost inexcusable. Both wrestlers have four wins.

The newly appointed Ambassador had a diplomatic meeting today with the Prince. The Prince of Underachievers, you didn't really think I was going to say Oranges, did you? (if, by any chance, you're wondering who takes the dubious honor of King, you need to shift your focus towards the 'ozeki' rank). What happened, you ask? The Prince made full use of his authority and snagged defeat from the jaws of victory. After winning the tachi-ai Futeno briefly got a shallow morozashi and started towards the tawara, but he was so busy trying to advance that he didn't notice Kitazakura slipping a thick right arm under his own. Zakura made an insignificant sukuinage attempt, but couldn't stop his foe's advancement, well, not yet anyway. At the tawara, he managed to slip the other arm inside and with both hands on the back of Futenoh's mawashi he forced him out, almost lifting him off the ground. That's politics for ya. The 2-5 should make Futenoh reconsider his strategies before going at it again, while Kitazakura's 4-3 ain't so bad for an old guy.

The next bout is a particularly interesting one, although long and tedious for the most part. Right after the tachi-ai brawl, the two rikishi stopped for a moment, with the much bigger Tochinonada barring Satoyama's neck with his left arm. I'm not exactly sure what purpose this might have served, but Satoyama shook it off only to have Nada go at it again, with the other arm, probably hoping for a head-twisting throw (which is just as painful and dangerous as it sounds, and if sumo were based in the States, they'd probably be forced to display a "do not try this at home" warning before or during the broadcast). Satoyama's a slippery one, though, and Nada came out, as his abbreviation might suggest it, empty handed. The two then got some mawashi grips, and proceeded to violently...stall in the center of the dohyo, Kotomitsuki style, much to the despair of yours truly, who went out and shot a couple of racks of 8-ball, returning only to find them in roughly the same position. Finally, Tochinonada was the first to reopen fire, going for a half-hearted uwatehineri with his right. Satoyama survived easily, but after supporting the heavy Nada for all those minutes he must have tired out, and his foe soon stood him up as he went for the kill. Satoyama just wouldn't give up and he tried one last thing: he ducked under Nada's inside arm and tried to hurl him down around his back. While the maneuver was remarkable and the idea brilliant, the tsutaezori failed because Tochinonada was too heavy and Satoyama's legs crumbled under the weight. Nada narrowly escaped the rare technique and got win #4, while Satoyama is once again living proof that size indeed does matter.

The next bout showed something of the opposite, that technique is important too. Toyobikini, the huge Makuuchi rookie, took on fellow behemoth Kokkai. The tachi-ai was sound and strong, and Toyo seemed to get an early advantage with a solid right uwate. During all this time, however, Kokkai had his arm deep inside, and when the uwate-nage was deployed, Kokkai managed to stay above the floor for a fraction of a second more, as Bikini's left leg slipped from under him, sending him down to his second defeat. Although he's a pusher/thruster, he might have a lot to gain if he practices some mawashi techniques, because his frame is very similar to Kaio's. Kokkai lucked out this time, but he hasn't been looking so good.

As I've already stated before, I'm a lazy bastard so I'm gonna skip the last four bouts, but one look at the kimarite and the perpetrators (with the mention that Otsukasa helped his uwatenage with a big paw on his opponent's head) will make you understand my reasons.

Mike was urging you the other day to pray for the blue diamond. At his age, it's understandable, but at 24 the...uhm...mind is still working perfectly, and this here long, thick and stiff report (written without any help from Pfizer and affiliates) proves my point. Tomorrow Kenji is up again, and I'll be here again on day 12, with (hopefully) the Asashoryu-Kotooshu match-up. See ya.

Day 6 Comments (Mike Wesemann reporting)
I think yesterday's sumo was some of the worst we've ever seen. Was there a single bout that last hour that lasted longer than 4 seconds? And as Kenji mentioned, it wasn't the fault of the big guns. We are just getting no effort from the Komusubi and the upper Maegashira this basho. Fortunately, week two is just around the corner.

In the final bout of the day, the real action would come just prior to the bout as M4 Takamisakari went through his self-pummeling routine highlighted by the Nagoya crowd grunting in unison with him as he pumped his arms downward three or four times. In the bout itself, Takamisakari looked resigned to his fate because he made no impact at the tachi-ai. Hakuho came with his usual methodical charge where he fishes for the left belt grip down low while getting that right arm on the inside. Hakuho missed the quick left outer, but he adjusted on a dime and wrenched the Cop up and over with the right arm while quickly pulling down at the back of his shoulder with the left. The only thing that was shorter than this bout is the list of Quiet Riot's Greatest Hits. Hakuho is a cool cat at 6-0 and hasn't been challenged in the least so far. I just don't see how he can lose the first 14 days of this tournament. He's currently working on a 21 bout winning streak. As for Takamisakari (1-5), he's entertaining to watch for sure, but he is completely outmatched this basho.

One of the bright sides of Yokozuna Asashoryu's sumo since that loss on day one has been the speed with which he has been attacking. Today against M4 Toyonoshima, the Yok