Hakurozan
There are two men in sumo who are easier to fool with a henka, henkable, if you will, than a drunk at 2:00 am outside an Osaka ramen shop, and that's Dejima and Tosanoumi. Yet on consecutive days, they have been henka'd and still won their bouts. Oddly enough, Dejima won his vs Roho, and Tosanoumi won his vs. Roho's brother, Hakurozan.

Is it just me or do you too find it impossible, when you see this kind of sumo, not to recall Mike's dead-on, kick-ass analysis of why Roho, Kokkai and Hakurozan essentially suck in relation to their potential? If you missed it, go to his blog and read it (I hope it's still there).

Tamakasuga
Loses to Kokkai even though Kokkai put his hand down first, enough to see on slow-mo replay at least 10 centimeters of air between Tama's foot and the clay while Kokkai's hand is already down. The replay is what the MIB watch to determine who won. But they gave the win to Kokkai. Why? Even if they believe, as they claimed, that the two touched down simultaneously, Kokkai acted the pussy by putting his hand down and not taking the effin blow on his mug like a real rikishi (Asa, where are you?!!). He should be penalized for that, not given the win because he was the nominal aggressor. They give that chickenshit call to Chokediekai all the time. Sumo should be more objective than it is right now.

Flags and Banners
So the shin-Komosubi and the Shin-Ozeki, arguably the two hottest tickets in sumo today, meet in the penultimate bout and they get 5 banners, but Kaio meets Takekaze in the musubi ichiban and they get 13 banners?!! Do you think being non-Japanese has anything to do with that?

NHK English Announcers
One of the reasons why Sumotalk is a good site (or that the Internet at all is a good thing, for that matter) is that being independent (well, our Bluehost Overlords might diverge with me on that point) we can "calls it like we sees it". Much of our email from last basho was in praise of how straight up we were about the "funny bidness" on Day 15 with Asa, Hakuho, Kaio and Tochiazuma. But the establishment folks must toe the line, play it safe in their commentary, try to not piss anyone off (I like split infinitives when using "not"), and in doing so turn their commentary about the outcome of bouts to mostly pap. 

Don't misunderstand, I like the trivia, the flashbacks, the insider info, the tidbits, but the TV announcers are sorely lacking when it comes to analyzing anything remotely controversial. This desire to respect the "wa" and avoid controversy is common in foreigners living here long term who want to get along (not me, though, if you couldn't already guess) or who want to keep their cushy little gig on tv or at one of Japan's pathetic English "newspapers", but for the NHK announcers it affects the way they view everything in every bout.

Example. Today, Mark and Hiro were covering the Kakizoe/Tosanoumi bout. Kakizoe won and Mark said it was because Tosanoumi over committed himself and that Kakizoe easily stepped to the side. Those two comments are, respectively, misleading and wrong. What he might have said is that Tosanoumi HAD TO commit himself wholeheartedly because, though small, Kakizoe is a goddamned animal, and eats up foes that don't bring it full on. And there was nothing remotely "easy" about that sidestep. It was superbly timed skill. (And please, Chiyotaikai fans, don't use that last comment as some sort of, Ah ha!, why is it ok when Kakizoe does it but not our man? If you don't know why it isn't the same, it ain't gonna help you much for me to explain it.) But unless you are experienced with sumo and can sift through the crap you are hearing, you are SOL.

That's why many of you log onto Sumotalk. People who read Sumotalk are usually going to get fiber, not fluff. Meat, not Maypo, controversy, not confections. Because we don't have take any stinking crap from any stinking bosses.

Gotta run now. Mike and Kenji have just called for lights out. They gave us all an extra eight and a half minutes of laptop time tonight! And this on top of the tapioca crepes for dessert!

Random Musings -- Day 8

Chokedaikai
Before Day 8, I had been so confident of the smoke-and-mirror yusho run of Chiyotaikai that I was going to offer, if Chiyotaikai was even TIED for the lead on Day 15, to kneel in front of the Nagoya Sumo Hall in July and publicly lick the soles of any Chiyotaikai fan who cared for a shoe shine. Now that the Wolf's Flub has started showing his true colors vs Asa (sekiryu, that is), I'm upping the offer: Bring your dog and I'll kiss it full on the mouth. And you can shoot video! 

It's just too funny, you fans of Chiyotaikai who actually hold out hope for a yusho. Bad enough even to BE a fan of such a one-dimensional bore, a trickster and tachi-ai mind game player at the even at the rank of Ozeki, but to be so hopeful as to ignore the evidence that at this point in his career he will always lose, with the precision and predictably of a Cesium-133 atom, at least two or three of his last five bouts is just, well, sad. 

And the biggest reason it's sad is because one of the planet's foremost experts on sumo in English, Mike Wesemann, TOLD you there was no hope, and yet you still think you know more than he does. Trust me, Mike sits head and shoulders above most of us in analyzing sumo. Next time, just shush your egos and listen to him. 

Tochiazuma
A meniscus problem, huh? Yea, I know all about that. Back in 1996, I had been invited to run the 100th Boston Marathon. It had been a bitch to qualify for, and so when I kneeled down one day and thought a child in my classroom had shoved a scissors into my knee, and was told by the doctor I needed surgery on my meniscus, I said, Now? You must be joking. So I sat around for the last three weeks of my training and then flew to Beantown and ran the race. With something that big on the line I couldn't say no. Finished in good time and never had any pain. Surgery was fiberscopic, minimum swelling, recovered in six weeks.

Make no mistake, surgery was needed. It was by far the most unforgettable pain I have ever felt. If Tochi has a torn meniscus, no way he can make Nagoya. http://www.arthroscopy.com/sp05005.htm

However, like most people, I think Tochi is bagging it, too embarrassed to go on. He shouldn't be. He never had the tools needed to be Yokozuna, no shame there. And who cares about the supposed hopes of a nation? Most Japanese I know don't give a shite about sumo, and for the ones that only get hot when there is a Japanese Yokozuna, fock them for being so jingoistic anyway. 

Ama
Our boy got screwed BIG TIME vs Miyabiyama on Day 7. When a rikishi, the lightest in the division, uses all the gumption he has against the heaviest, it should be REWARDED in sumo, not ignored. Ama deserved a mono-ii, because he cleverly grabbed and yanked Miyabiyama's arm down as he fell. Both men touched the clay simultaneously at their hands, or close enough so to warrant a do over. Go see for yourself. It's safe to say that most of the retired wrestlers who sit at ringside "backing up" the gyoji bite hard cheese.

Roho
Is there a wrestler more disappointing than the burly Russian? He henka's Dejima and STILL LOSES! Of course by hatakikomi. And what was he doing as he fell out? Looking over at Dejima's feet, like some retired judge, hoping for a lucky break. 

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